FUReedom of The PURRess -A Balancing Act

Itza giganticat balancing act to keep the news straight these days! I gets so confused (and often not amewsed) by whatsa in da papers. This sort of situation can be bewildering and bemewsing!

Yep uh huh, it's fur shure a definicatical purroblem, and if youza wanting to keep current on da news, in between yur abundacatnaps, then youza might wanna do what I do - I PURRuse all the papers: yep uh huh, FURstly, I gets da green sheet cuz itza got all da sports infurmayshun. Oh basta pasta let's not cat chat about my San Franfuncisco Giants not going to the playoffs!

After I get a pawsative outlook on my Sports teams via The Green Sheet, then I heads directacatically to the Entertainment Secshun of da paper. It's called "Da Pink Sheet" (yep uh huh itza got all da Fall movies listed and more too, but izn't Fall supposed to be oranges and reds and Mew England colors?) Hey I'm not having a hiss fit over da Green Section and da Pink Section - but my envirocat self is purrpondering IF purrhaps these colored papers are recyclable cuz that's da most impurrtant thing we need purractice daily.
If every one of us meowvalous creatures (yep that includes YOU and the doggone great others too) does our share to recycle, then our planet will be just a smidgen better. It's pawsative that YOU can make a difFURance! See fur yourself ... I'm recycling my grocery bag as a Catzowey place to catnap! You izza witnessing a real recylcing meowment.

Now go and have a nonCATastrophic week and thanks for starting your day the Guido way!

Ciao & Meow
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Ahoy OR Ah Ha Ha - It's The Purring Pirate

Everyone around the Globe (datsa from one Catinent to da other) was talking Pirate chat all week while waiting fur Saturday September 19th to show up - well didja know it's an annual event? Yep uh huh, that means absoluticatically every year on da same day, exacticatically 1 day after September 18th, this meowvalous catzowey event happens whether youza catnapping or not, Itza fur shure, itza gonna happen !

If youza got yur ears plugged up with imPURRted Spanish Sardines from Catalonia or your selectacat hearing masheen izza off or purrhaps your MyPod is purrmanently in yur ears, then youza wouldn't know at all that September 19th izza"Talk Like A Pirate Day". Even me the mighty meowster wazza talking like da hearty heave yo ho ho Pirates of da Catibbean & the tantalizing Canary Islands, with my infectchewous EyeTailYun accent of course.

Definitely I wanna confurm that ya can't talk like a Pirate if youza not dressed like a Pirate. I mean, can youza imagine talking the 007 jargon ala James Bond without wearing da Tux and driving da FURari car?

So all week, without my abundacatnaps, me and myself was bizzi being an EyeTailYun PurrEYErut, sailing high up in the Crow's Nest with my fur blowing in da wind (never lost my Johnny Depp hat overboard but I did wear my life PURRsevor all da time!). And I gotsa CATZOWEY news and mews fur you: my Pirate ship wazza gluten free! Oh shuksatini, I mean Mutiny free, and weeza arrived back to shore safely after sailing and sailing over the oshun blue.

Itza THE END of the story!

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week.

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

In The Tropicatical Jungle

Humidity is high, my fur is frizzing and da warm rains izza putting abundacat strains on my smitten kitten self. Catzowey! Me and myself hates to have a bad fur day and it can put me into a giganticat hiss fit when I looks in da mirror and sees da frizzy fur I am not FURiendly with! Dontcha know, we EyeTailYuns luv to look stylishly fabucatulous every meowment of the day!

Itza so so so tropicatical today that I feelza like I'm in TaHeeTee, yep uh huh like I mean FURench Polypurrnesia in the Pacific Oshun. Getting my paws, yep uh huh all 4 of them, into the tropicatical mode so I've put on my creative native beads and hunkering down under da palms to cool off. Iffa I just could find my Guido Speedo I'd be purrfecticatically content-a-cat, slumbering under da palms cuz the lazy hazy days of summer and me are compatacatable.

Nowza Meowza I'm bringing out my Tiki Torch to sit on my porch. Duzza you wanna see up close and PURRsonally who I comes across on my kitty safari in da tropicatical jungle?

In the jungle, the mighty Tropicatical jungle, the lions sleep tonight and some not so mighty sized lions were not catnapping when they'za and meeza came cat eye to cat eye (well at least I had one giganticat EyeTailYun eye ball directictically on them!) ... but catch a good glimpse and don'tcha blink cuz theyza micro meowsters!

Meowvalously hilarious! They'za thinks they'za related to my EyeTailYun super buffed self! Ah ha ha, thizza izza ridicucatulous fur shure and I'm not shure our geneticatical genes are the same (hazza anybody told these felines they'za micro minis?) I don'tza wanna ruin their catnaps with da not so meowvalous news and no mews.

So....youza gotta think big and be pawsative - go fur it and have a giganticat nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Hob Nob With Corn On The Cob

Catzowey! It's not so corny cuz itza true, and I tells ya, the kernels of corn izza popping up everywhere! And itza sweet corn kernels tooza but youza gotta be talented at select-a-catting the right ear of corn. Hmmm, what happens if ya chooses the left ear of corn?That's unequivocatically the queshun of the meowment fur shure and I needs the answer befur corn season stops!

Ahhhhaaaa, Me and Myself is having a hisstericatical meowment thinking about select-a-catting da left ear of corn instead of da right ear of corn! Purrhaps I'll stop catnapping and apply fur da stand-up yur paws Comedy Cat Club show - hey ya never knows if the Hollywood PURRducers are looking fur a new hilarikitty - after all, David Letterman has that doggone "Stupid Pet Tricks" on hizza show! Oh my smitten kitten self says let's paws fur a meowment .... I tellza youza there is NO such thingza as da stupid pet tricks cuzza all of us are increducatulously smart. Do I see da future bringing a petishun circulating to toss Signore Letterman into da deep litter box NOWza MEOWza?

No no absoluticatically NO, this is not geneticatically neutered corn! Shuksatini dontcha know the Corn on the Cob got me tired trying to select da right ear of corn or da left ear of corn, so I've tossed the husk aside and turned to my new and mewvalous Banana Nip toy frum my very favorito pet boutique Cheengoo in San Franfuncisco (oh yes she will ship it tooza youza too!) This fruit is giganticat- like a whole jungle of nanas and da Eau du Nip Purrfume in da Banana is da bestest you can get! You tell Signore Liz - sheeza da Owner - that youza FOG "Friend Of Guido" and sheeza takes da bestest care of you, yep uh huh.

So it's da furst week in September and if I remember, I'ma gonna wish you a nonCatastrophic short week - hope it's filled with fruitful fun and abundacatnaps cuz youza deserves dat. (I'm still confused and amewsed over how to figure out the right ear of corn from the left ear of corn...)

Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty