December 27, 2010

It's Happy Mew Year Time

Timely and amewsing news izza here: itza time for the Mew Year and hoorayzatini and oh how I luvs da tuna linguini! Weeza all got our paws crossed and me and myself izza on countdown too,  fur a doggone funtasticat 2011, and here's my pawsative suggestion fur living da Catzowey "Oh Eleven". Ready??

 Youza gonna feel revived and alive if youza has a daily catnap - yep uh huh itza fur shure.

Strrrrretch da paws cuz itza better than Zumba an lotza easier than the downward dog in Yogatini. So just  hang out and Strrrrrrretch da paws!

 And then after youza works at hanging out and strrrretching,  just kick da paws back, air out da laundry and enjoy da meowment .

Dontza wait till Mew Years Eve,  go GREEN nowza meowza, cuz youza helping our Momma Earth. And my Envirocat self asks youza to puhleeze compost dat pizza meowgarita and da leftover Holy Canolis, recycle dat Mew York Times paper, and keepsa keen cats eye on da house lights - yep youza can realisticatically do yur part.

Read to somebody, read tooza yurself, but read to keep uppa to date on stuff.  Pssst, dontcha tell but I luvs "Carl Goes Shopping" books cuz theyza doggone infurmayshunal.


Youza can stay organized and always knows what day itza is during 2011 if youza has da meowvalous 2011 MORRIS & FRIENDS CALENDAR - yep uh huh, I'm purrrroud to be wtih my pal Morris on da July and da December pages of his calendar.  My EyeTailYun Cat Crystal Ball says itza gonna be a nonCATastrophic and Catzowey year fur shure!

Happy Meowvaloso 2011 and Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

















December 20, 2010

Holy Cannoli! Itza Ding Dong Sing-a-Long

 Ding Ding goes the trolley!  Itza time for meowvalous mistle toes and holly by golly, cuz it's Cwismus week and all thru my house, I see my empty EyeTailYun stocking waiting fur a mouse (ahem, or some boxes of Mice A Roni - the San Franfuncisco treat!)

(Catzowey! Youza knows thizza tune) ...  "Do you see whatza I sees?" said the little Drummer Dude with a good Catitude!  Lemme tells ya a secret:  Me and Myself sees abundacat furiends whooza da bestest purrresent ever. And furiends duzn't have to be wrapped uppa or put under da tree cuz not everybody hazza tree! Pssst ..YOUZA  my fantasticat furiend!

Tapping da toes, here we goes:   Have a holly jolly Cwismus and a very GREEN New Year!  Itza impurrtant youza knows our Environment is near and dear.

Sleigh bells ring and snowflakes may not be glistening but youza gotta be listening when I tells ya Me, Myself and My Staff wishes you a meowvalous Holly Daze and a Catzowey San Franfuncisco GIANT New Year!  

Abundacat Holly Dazed Hugs,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

PS:  My furiend Morris The Cat (yep uh huh, the authenticat Morris The Cat!) has his new
"2011 Morris and Friends Calendar" that hit da Stores this morn! Itza catzowey calendar and I'ma purrroud to be on July and December pages!  All proceeds from sales benefit Morris's shelter where my furiend started hizza life. Puhleezes purrchase a calendar cuz itza Catzowey & youza knows me!




December 13, 2010

Lazy Or Crazy Days Of The HollyDaze

Ah nuts! Da HollyDaze is not all what itza cracked uppa to be - but this guy was meowvalous to me as I purranced my paws through San Franfuncisco on a HollyDazed and crazed Saturday.

Not starting with 12 drummers drumming as I purrfur  a smoother beat at The Fairmont Hotel atop Nob Hill -  my favorito pet furiendly place to relaxacat and feel HollyDazed.  The Lobby izza filled with echos of "Ciao Guido - can weeza treetza youza to a nice creamy double Catpuccino"? Basta Pasta - datza mewsik to my EyeTailYun kitty heart.

Meeting and greeting Fairmont guests izza what "Ann" duz best. Sheeza so so so happy I'ma purrancing thru The Fairmont. The purriliant  purrfeshunal  dons her fancy white paws to cuddle my EyeTailYun kitty self (Catzowey weeza got matching paws!).  AND then, Ann and Me and Myself heads to da sweet dreams place ...

Catzowey! ItzaMan-Cat sized Gingerbread Mansion in the Lobby of The Fairmont Hotel! Two stories (thizza izza no fairytail story!)  of real gingerbreads and abundacat gum drops. Hmmmmzatini I thinks there's impurrted Furench catnip in dat white icing too!

Boarded my Limo-Sleigh and headed my paws directacatically to da "HollyDazed Hug Booth" where I snuggled and huggled Signora Claws. Shhhh, dontcha tell, but sheeza gave me her favorito famiglia recipe fur Hot Mulled Nip and Holy Cannolis!

In fine feline fashion I  Purrancered and Dancered and speeded like a Comet to sit on da lap of dat 
ho ho ho OH so so so jolly man whooza not so fat. Must be lean times uppa at da North Pole.

Yikes! Four Calling Birds and three Furench Hens and notta even da two mini Turtle Doves ever gonna fit into this inky dinky shopping bag! (My MasterCat card gotta small credit line so I shops small)

 I wishes youza and yurza da mostest nonCATastrophic week. Yep uh huh itza true!

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty






December 6, 2010

Untangle, Jingle Jangle & Tis the Season!

And thatza da reason I'ma exhausticatted. Catzowey! Itza HollyDaze time and me and myself is so so so busy dat I got no time fur my abundacatnaps.  Purrhaps itza gonna take all da day and all  da nighty time to figure out how my tree lights gotza all knotted uppa, when theyza just sitting quietly in da box all year. 

Itza fur shure theyza didn't get put in dat box like this!

There gottza be an ending so I can start !

WOWza MEOWza da tree arrived and I'ma inspectacatting it like da fabucatulous SuperDoopervisor duz. Youza knows a SuperDoopervisor does construction and also ....

Tree relocationing!  Checking out each branch cuz furesh green branch walking izza favorito sport at HollyDaze time. I hasn't topped da tree yet, but  if youza thinking dat my smitten kitten self toppled the tree, well youza correctacat. Holy cannoli! Itza resilient tree -  bounces back automaticatically when youza leaves da room. (Shhhh, dontcha tell anybody but, IF youza double clickity on da foto youza sees my tree relocationing work uppa close!)

There's abundacat reason and tis da season to enjoy da HollyDaze and purrhaps youza needs my "Smitten Kitten Stress Less Tip Of Da Weeka" ..... if youza feeling stressed-out and stressed-in and upza down and tipsy turvy I got da purrrscripshun:    kick back with  hot frothy Catpuccino, put da paws up ,have a pawdicure, do a downward Dog pawzishun and youza gonna be having a relaxacat HollyDaze. Youza got 11 more months to spread out da stress stuff so don't jamza pack it all into da December.

Wishing youza nonCATastrophic week,

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty









November 29, 2010

Holy Cannoli Kittens! It's Time For SMITTENS

Itza not Black FurEyeDay anymore, itza not even Cyber Cat Meowvalous Monday but it IS the day that I'ma purrroud to tell you about SMITTENS - the fingerless mittens made in New Zealand. And theyza 100 PURRcent, datsa 100% natural New Zealand wool - no syntheticat stuff in the SMITTENS Mittens! Yur order izza custom crocheted purrsonally fur you -  - yep uh huh itza fur shure!

Pawsatively comfurtable and da natural New Zealand wool is super soft and washable!
Showing you the "Wrist Length" in Graphite color - $27.

"Forearm length" for extra warm arms when yur coat sleeve starts to rise like da tide.  I'ma showing Ballet Pink color here cuz itza springy color. $35. (this paw model needs da smaller SMITTENS - we can make it to fit)

Everybody needs da Basic Black -here's "Wrist Length", and SMITTENS can be custom made in either of the lengths. It's $27 for this style.

Raspberry izza yummy color. SMITTENS can be made fur the guys AND the gals.  Furiends has purrchased SMITTENS fur horse riding, sailing on da boat, walking in da snow, riding da bus and fur strutting around town to keep warm while theyza tap out da text meowsages on da fone.
SMITTENS are versatile fur shure!


I loves SMITTENS cuz theyza makes meowvalous meowster blankies! Purrfecto size fur me and myself!   And theyza can be made in abundacat colors!

 


Ordering SMITTENS the Fingerless Mittens is easy and not gonna cause a Hiss Fit!   Youza email me yur order with:

1) Chose the color of your choice
2) Selectacat yur style (Wrist or  Forearm length) and size (Small or Medium) 
3) Pay via PayPal  
4) My PayPal account is  guido@theguidogazette.com
5) Yur SMITTENS order arrives in about 2 weeks from New Zealand

Wishing you a warm nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty "the Smitten Kitten"

If youza got queshuns about ordering SMITTENS, you can pawmail me directacatically at my purrsonal pawmail:
guido@theguidogazette.com



November 22, 2010

Abundacat Thanks On Thanksgiving Week

 The famous punkin pie making Pilgrims landed on da shores of, um ...  of ... hummzatini what shores did theyza land on? Waz it da white sandy shores of da Florida or da shores of San Franfuncisco.  I  shores duzn't know, do youza knows?

Starting to smack my smitten kitten lips just thinking of da Turkey tiddybitties tumbling from da table, but furst  here's my list of thanks fur da Thanksgiving week ..... yep uh huh itza da week for thinking of thanks (and good eats).

Me and Myself izza thanksful fur justa hanging out in da jungle at Cat Safari

Abundacat thanks fur all da fureshly made Pizza with Nip Tomato Sauce and da home delivery is reason toooza be full of thanks too

I gives even more thanks fur da daily furesh running water

Gotta give da thanks fur my little brofur YOLO whooza big little brofur

Most impurrtant izza da giant thanks  for YOU my furiend, cuz youza da spice of my ife in all da celestial seasonings! If youza celebrates Thanksgiving - enjoy it, andza travel safe. Purrhaps youza in da airport for da new "airport meowsage services" - give dem yur best Hiss Fit in true feline fashion and theyza faints and youza continues on to yur flight! I hopes youza has abundacat  right-unders, oopsatini I mean left-overs on FurEyeDay!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty


November 15, 2010

Balancing In A Heat Wave of Hot Stuff

Didja ever hear of a heat wave in da middle of November when itza almost December?  Blame it on da giganticat global warm and storm stuff (yes youza knows I'ma Envirocat purrtecting my earth). But this izza CalEyeFurKneeYah where da Surfers will surf any day of the year, and "Hang 10 Paws and Hold On" is pawsatively Surfer chat when theyza maneuvering da board on da crest of a wave. Nothing finer than going to the Pacific Oshun beach to watch da Surfer dudes and dudettes do their balancing board acts.

No way can you say youza gonna be a super dooper balanced surfer without purracticing on yur board and I purrractices abundacatically every day and sometimes puts on my Guido Speedo when itza heat wave!

Balancing izn't just fur da surf board or my peachy beachy ball - cuz everyday izza balancing act and Me and Myself started early in da balancing biz....

 My furst balancing act was when I wazza 62 days yungun

 Catzowey I made it tooza da tipza topza of Mount Dining Chair

  Now, yep uh huh  I wishes you a purrrfectly balanced week and make it a nonCATastrophic one!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty




.






November 8, 2010

Leaf Peeping In Technocat Color

The colors in November izza definicatically worth a remember cuz theyza BeeYouTeeFull fur shure. Me and Myself izza peeping at da leaves - and itza called "Leaf Peeping" in Mew England where da colors of leaves izza increducatulous in Technocat Color.

 If youza wanna surprise the leaves, itza good to be Cat-OH-flauged fur da Leaf Peeping - then nobody sees you peeping around. But peeping at all da purrty colors can make ya exhausticatted ...  so whatza on my agenda when I'ma Leaf Peeped & pooped out?

Grab a furiend and hug em! Then fall onto da floor and hug 'em more!

   Fur shure, yep uh huh,  a good furiend izza always right there next tooza youza, no matter what Season izza in the air or what meowvalous seasoning theyza smelling in the air (purrhaps itza Meatballs simmering or  Pesto Pasghetti sauce on da stove top).

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic and meowvalous week!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty


November 1, 2010

Crayola Crayon Collage Of Fabuloso Fall


Me and my actshun packed paws been going to The World Series cheering on my San Franfuncisco Giants, then with all da Halloween purrrparations and pawties since FurEyeDay, well youza knows, yep uh huh,  now I'ma exhausticatted! So gonna kick back my paws, enjoy and just  realaxacat with soothing warm Fall colors on the furst and only November 1st in 2010.


 Itza fur shure, when da furst day of November arrives, itza the sign of da times dat da time izza gonna change next weekend fur most of us, so watch yur watches and see if theyza changes automaticatically. Itza arrivederci Daylight Savings!


I luvs Fall cuz the colors are spectacucatular like da Crayola Crayon box and itza Catzowey to indulge yursef in warm golden Fall colors with a furiend. Like get up close and hug da warm wonderful hues of Fall. Oopsatini, purrhaps I means visit Niagara Falls in da Fall cuz in da Winter itza not warm there!  Uh oh, I meant to think da colors of Fall izza hugely full of  warm color and youza should be hugging someone huge to keep warm purrhaps.  Izza you amewsed dat I'ma confused?


And didja know dat warm Fall colors izn't just in leaves, on friends and stuff, but also in da good foods, exacticatically  like in my favorito EyeTailYun warm red Tortellini pasta. Youza gotza experiencia da colors of EyeTailYun pastas or youza not living life to da meowximum!  Basta Pasta there's nothing like furesh Fall colored sauce smothering and mothering da furesh Torellinis!

So I wishes youza terrificatical furst week of November and be shure to make it
a nonCatastrophic one too! 

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty


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