Winning The Wheel of FURtune Cookie

Me and myself is fantasticatically furtunate to be sent a purresent ... yep uh huh, a real gift of a sweet sensashunal purresent that got me purring fur shure and priming my paws to open up the goody box and shred da fabucatulous blue ribbon (datsa called Recycling cuzza you gets it, uses it and makes it tiny fur da trash). So what duzza you think someone extra speshule would be sending my EyeTailYun globe trotting self?
Certainly and impurrtantly, looks to me like itza catnip cookie in there - but not just a cookie, a customized Furtune Cookie made by the speshule paws of Jake & Micah.

Hereza me and myself, totally under da influence of da Cookie and I hasn't even read my fortune in the FURtune cookie yet. Beware and Cawshun: I may appear to be closer to you than in real life, and this izza no Las Vegas act!

Youza undoubtacatically asking at this meowment, whooza Jake & Micah? Dat answer izza inside da cookie but my smitten kitten self won't make ya wait. Jake & Micah's my fantasticat feline buddies and secondacatically, they're deeziners of increducatulous gifties. If youza EyeTailYun like me, youza gonna aPURRciate the catnip cannoli gift, and if youza into having fun, well youza gonna really like anything Jake & Micah makes with the ORGANICAT nip!
Apurrantly yur lips are meowster muttering youza don't live close to Jake & Micah. Basta Pasta mi amico, no need to PURRponder that PURRoblem further cuz these meowvalous meowsters will ship youza the gifties - yep uh huh, they actualacatically have a bizzi business account with the oops guys - oops I think it's the YouPeeEss guy.

Once I gets un-nipped frum da Furtune Cookie and back to normal shmormal, I'll wish youza nonCATastrophic week! In da meantime, hereza me and myself PURRfiled in June on their website. *no Euros were exchanged fur this mighty cool menshun and no actors were used. Itza all authenticatted*

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Is It A Downward Dog or Upward Cat?

Stress is abundacatically amongst us these days ... my puter is not pampurred and is having hiss fits, my whiskers get wild over excessacat horn honkers on the street, and I'm fogged in here in San Franfuncisco with no sun rays fur my catnaps!Catzowey! What's a smitten kitten to do? The smart Doc's PURRscripshun says head immediacatically to the de-stress place and do not pass go - yep uh huh, I'm enrolled in da YOGA Yogi kitty class! Got myself a nice green super soft Yoga-cat-a-mat ... that's the furst paw forward step to doing Yoga correcticatically cuz da paws won't slip when doing the Downward Dog pose.

Befur you start to Ummm and Ohmmmm ya gotta PURRpare for da Yoga. Youza not gonna be a relaxacat doing the purrfecto poses until you flatten all da bumps out of yur Yoga-cat-a-mat. It's so you don't trip yourself. It could be super non-fantasticat embarrassing to trip on da little bump in da mat - couldza be easier to explain if youza slipped and slided on a ravioli (furiends will believe you!).

So me and myself is bizzi figuring out how to flatten my Yoga-cat-a-mat and get da giganticat bump out of it. Itza definicatically challenging! But I'm a checking it out thoroughly cuz I'm payshunt....

Arreverderci il bumpo! NOWza MEOWza I can do the ultimate Yoga Cat pozishun fur helping my back, straightening out my stripes and help me be a relaxacat. Ohhmmmmeowwwww , look at me, I'ma yoga'ing.
Me and myself gotza all the correctacat Yoga Yogi Cat equipment - my teacher sez these stretch belts help ya get centered while they help stretch the paws out to the meowximus range, and PURRpare you fur da stretch of yur life ... all 9 lives? Itza time fur da Sun Salutation pose - here I goes! Ahhhhmeowww ... Oh meowvalous I feel stress free and centered PURRfectly now.

Wishing YOU a nonCATastrophic & fairly centered week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Tea For Two OR Four Paws Take Tea

Have you had the afternoon British styled High Tea in da middle of da afternoon ? Wonder if it's like High Tide at da Pacific Oshun? Oh well, I likesa the low tide for counting the starfish on the rocks and I luvs High Tea, Low Tea, Mid Tea, no matter what level da tea is in da cup is not imPURRtant to me and myself.

What's imPURRtant is that youza having da tea with furiends and that's PURRcisely what this smitten kitten did recently. Oh basta pasta! IF youza thinking I pawty crashed a tea pawty, oh no no nonsense - I actualicatically got my own invatashun to attend!

FURst thing youza do at a Tea Pawty is selectacat yur tea leaves. It'sa fine idea to get close to da tea leaves to smell da aroma and do a taste test.

I tried a furiety of leaves and well, yuck and more yuck cuz they didn't all agree with my EyeTailYun tastebuds - no way is this catnip tea leaves!.

The Book of Eticat says you should NOT be a greedy cat and eat every item on yur plate so here I am, purrusing the cakes and crumpets .... curious as a cat (what else do you expectacat frum me?). I assure you I'ma not eating da chocolate as it's fatal food to we felines. We didn't get served any bags of tater chips or PURRetzels at the High Tea but da selecshun was beeYOUteaFull and da hostess, well she brought out her finest feline furiendly antique gold plates. Dis is no ordinaricat tupperware!

More propurr Eticat: have your pinky up in the air fur lifting the tea cup. Don't put yur elbows on da table or da hostess will have a hiss fit!

All da sweet stuff sent me directacatily to da scale! Basta Pasta - no more pasta and no more sweets at da High Tea fur me! My waist line is expanding and I'm demanding to go on da Jenny CraigCat diet or Weight Night-Watchers. Me and myself thinks I'm cutting out my Mice a Roni and the catohydrates will be meownitored in between my abundacatnaps.

Wishing youza and yurza a nonCATastrophic & sweet week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Yankee Doodle Dandy Cat

Catzowey it's almost the FURst of July which means the 4th of July is just a few catnaps behind and are you curious as a cat to know something fantasticat? Shhh, don't let the cat out of the bag ... itza fine feline time to be a Patrioticat, unfurl the flag and wear it PURRoudly! As far as my smitten kitten self knows, I don't have any Pilgrim geneticatically altered genes in me cuzza I'm EyeTailYun. Oh shuksatini the Pilgrims holiday izza with turkey and taters in November, and the only fireworks are when thereza no leftovers!

AttenzeeOhKnee! AttenzeeOhKnee! Me and my paws are on countdown fur the sparklies in the sky, abundacat barbeque meats dropping to da ground and catnapping in the sunny sun rays - all on the 4th of July. Are you sayin' maybe I'm a tabby teeny bit USA'un?

Gusty and fairly cat-O-strophic winds are keeping my flag from unfurling proPURRly. I luvs da excitement of Independence Day cuz I'm an independakitty too so it's a meowvalous day fur me to prance my paws around San Franfuncisco in my "non finicky feline & fine" independent meowster mode!

YEOWza MEOWza I'ma exhausticatted from wrestling with my flag so I just hadza catnap faster than da pop top opens on my food can. Itza kinda Speed-Sleeping!

When I wakes up, I'm gonna beeza bizzi meowmorizing the Declarashun of Independakitties! I thinks it goes something like "Four feline scores ago, our fat cat forefathers landed on the shores of Catalina Island".... Shuksatini again! Itsa hiss fit time cuzza I gotza the wrong speech meowmorized. Hahem....here I goes, Uno Due Tre and a oneza twoza threeza, "We hold these Pawsative truths to be self-evident, that all cats are created equal" - yep uh huh datsa da right Declarashun of Independakitties - woo hoo!

You and yourza have a fantasticat 4th of July and make it a nonCATastrophic one too! Remember to be a respectacatable envirocat: don't leave yur trash at da 4th of July barbeque or youza won't be getting da invatayshun next year!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Astronomicatical Summer Solstice

Catzowey! Me and myself just made it thru the longest day of the year and yep uh huh, it's also the FURst day of Summer time. Sum sum summer time or did someone say supper time? Not to worry if you didn't know it was the longest day of all da 12 meowvalous months - as long as you know there was an itsy bitsy bitza more of the sun and that's all scientificatically correct and furry verifiable. Basicatically the theory is the extra sun light really helps me be a relaxacat while it helps my mellow yellow lemon tree purrduce the fruits.

I purrpondered thru my abundacatanps, if my lemon tree was fruitfully flourishing in the extra minutes of CalEyeFurKneeYah sunshine on the longest day of the year, and it was a unanicatamouse decision that me and myself grab that ecstaticat extra second of sun ray too (hey this Summer Solstice isn't justa fur the lemon tree).

Itza no drama in da Bahamas! This is da real deal youza seeing: the extra long sun ray from the Summer Solstice and I'm maxicatting da benefits of this speshule really long day of the year by just kicking back enjoying it. I luvs da sun to bathe in. And checksa this out .... I can sun bathe and tend to my lemon crop too ... all simulcatulously!

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week filled with sweet and not sour sun rays!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

City Kitty Turns PURRgressive Farmer

My 4 paws and me are getting into the organicat dirt this week. Doing some hot-house farming cuz I wanna have a grounding experience. And I found out, yep it's aFURmative so I'm letting the cat out of the bag - the right organicat soil for yur crop is the secret to growing da vibrant veggies & purrfect plants. Oh basta pasta, I don't own a farm in the agricatural belt of CalEyeFurKneeYah - I'm a City Kitty - so my feline farmer self is growing da greens in the house's hot-house. Catzowey the hot-house has a dual purrpose: I can catnap in da hot- house too cuz it'sa sunny and hot, exacticatically the way a hot-house is supposed to be (and the way a feline likes it!). Check out my grow-it-myself crops ....

This home grown fantasticat pepper izza speesy spicy and tickling my tasty buds!

It'sa so hot in da hot house that I fell asleep on the job. It'sa fantasticat I work fur me and myself - can get tired but never fired!

Holy Chokes Moly! My crop is rolling me over!

Basta Pasta! Me and myself izza gonna return to being just a simple smitten kitten EyeTailYun city kitty cuzza growing hot house veggies is increducatulously exhausticatting. Four paws UP to all da great organicat farmers who rock, yep, they'za rock just like my favorite Radio City Rockcats.

Me and myself wishes you and yurza a nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

ComPURRhensively Browsing The Books

This is a week fur getting educated and  expanding myself and  I'ma not cat chatting bout my waistline (they don't call me Expando-Cat fur nothing!) Catzowey I'm ecstaticat to tell you and yurza,  me and myself has been takin' da lessons - yep uh huh - genuine lessons so me and myself can speaks more molto meowvalous. Youza know, my EyeTailYun accent is thick asa barrel of buffalo mozzarella, so me and my paws trekked downtown to PURRlitz Language School and enrolled, after paying with my MasterCat Card.

After my week at da  PURRlitz Language School where I consistacatically heard  "Arriverderci Guido" to my EyeTailYun accent,  I was still in da learning mode so I popped my tail into da big Library building. Now lemme tell ya, that's a place for catnapping & serious snoozing .. it's meowvalously quiet, nobody is cat chatting, no TV or infurmercials, and there's lots of places to hide and tuck into comfurtably at da Library. Oh I furgot to tellza you, there's catzillions of books to get uppa on, yep uh huh, youza can get way up high and hide for a day in da Library. And they even  got little lights to brighten up yur space - well if you can figure out da Light On and Off butttons!

This is me in da Library where theyza keeps abundacat mounds of books. Big, really big  giganticat art books in a purrEyeVat collection. Look at me sitting on "The 9 Lives of Meowtisse" and "Picasso-cat Painting" too! But I still can't get my library reading lamp to light up. Wonder how many of my 9 lives I gotta use up befur I get this thing to work correcticatically! Uh oh,  do I  see an off shore hiss fit arriving soon?

Don't catnap thru life and  never furget to keepza learning - NOWZA is always the fantasticat time fur learning something new and meowvalous!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty