Ticked Off & On My Natural Soapbox

AhTenZeeOhKnee! Me and Myself is out on my EyeTailYun tree limb, which is like speaking befur da United Nashuns,  and I'ma here today to tellza YOUza bout my furiend, TINY TIMMY and his purrmanent NEUROLOGICAL condishun all caused by da toxic flea/tick over-da-counter stuff - yep just stuff you purrobably has in yur house.  Get comfy cuz my politacatically-correct Envirocat self izza gonna giganticatically open yur eyes ... itza all about SirPrizes in da house and on da shelf!

Justa when youza thinks life is purrfecto, well stuff pops up! Like Bananas in my Toaster - thatza stuff happening fur shure dat shouldn't be happening.

 OH holy cannoli! My momma gonna have da Tsunami sized hiss fit when sheeza sees this bottle labeled "Dumb Blonde"!  Is it "Nachural or notza Nachural"?

Nachural izza the right stuff, and thizza is my pal Tiny Timmy who suffers frum da purrmanent neurological damage caused by nasty toxic over-the-counter Flea & Tick stuffs- yep uh huh da stuff everybody buys in da neighborhood stores. Didja know in 2008 when I wazza only 2, over 40,000 animals got da exposure to da toxic purroducts and itza caused serious brain imbalances and can be fatal tooza. Today I'm ecstaticat to tell ya,  Tiny Timmy has turned his physical and mental challenges into da pawsative message to help others. Heeza catzowey Spokespurrson in Washington DC and to da EPA and Tiny Timmy izza standing tall on hizza soapbox (a good healthy one!) to get da bad stuff removed frum store shelves.

Youza can purrchase da speshule non-toxic nachural soaps heeza has made fur meowsters and pooches to fight da flea and ticks. Nachurally, Tiny Timmy's staff ships in these BeeYouTeeFull organza bags.  Check out da ingredients:  Oregon rainwater, olive oil, coconut oil, soybean oil, cottonseed oil, shea butter, ground oatmeal, Red Lake Earth (65% diatomaceous earth/35% montmorillonite), handpicked wild Oregon sagebrush, common sage (silvia officinalis) & sweet basil (ocicum basilicum) essential oils, sodium hydroxide (which dissipates with age, thus his soaps are aged a minimum of 30 days for optimal mildness).

I wishes you a nachurally nonCATastrophic week.

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Furiends Are The Catnip Of LIfe

Life has itza Ups and Downs, and da Ups and Downs makes all da rounds no matter if youza got 9 lives or less. Bobby McFerrin said "Dontcha Worry  - Be Happicat"  cuz when youza down and out and feeling like "A Bridge Over Troubled Waters"  ya can't phone Simon & Garfunkle cuz theyza retired by NOWza MEOWza. But I tells ya, yep uh huh, lemme tell youza bout furiends - theyza the catnip of life and furiends keeps ya purring when da purr masheen izn't revved up like da EyeTailYun Furrarri car.  

My furiends izza diverse and comes in all shapes and sizes, just like my favorito pizzas.

Purrhaps yur furiend izn't wearing da suncat block # 100 and turns too red from da Oh No Zones! Then itza correctacat time fur YOUza to be a good furiend and purrvide abundacat free hugs.

Youza can be a SPOKES purrson fur yur FURiend if theyza inFURmed.

Pawsibly, if the life deals youza a lemon, then hug it andza make da honey infused and amewsed  EyeTailYun limonada frumza it!

I wishes youza da mostest absoluticatically nonCATastrophic week. And mille meowster Grazie fur being my terrificat furiend, yep uh huh, youza speshule.

Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Tickled PINKaboo I Sees You!

Puhleeze allow Me & Myself to think fur a meowment about PINK cuz weeza cat chatting here about PINK - not my pinky paw,  not my smitten kitten pink EyeTailYun tongue, but just da color PINK  cuz PINK tickles me pink!   I had  my color chart done and Catzowey! Found outza PINK is not just fur da Signorinas and Signoras. Put some PINK in yurza life and youza comes to life, yep uh huh, itza fur shure.

 Here's da super secret to being in the PINK - don't put yurself out there all at once, like immediacatically - gradually get into feeling tickled  PINK,   Purrcisely I'ma saying sneak into da PINK with yur pinkies, slowly and catcarefully!

 Enrapture and capture da meowment when youza wrapped up in da PINK,  andza then youza finds out.........

PAWSatively,  life is full of "tickle me Pink" SirPrizes! Whether youza in da pink tent, thinking bout pink cuppy cakes, wearing da pinky ring, fishing fur da organicat nachural pinky salmon or shopping fur da pink powder room sink. Youza gonna be fantasticatically joyous when youza pawsatively happy and in da PINK! Didja know dat da OhRiginal  1903 CRAYOLA Crayons box didn't have da inky dinky Pinkie crayon? Yep Uh Huh itza fur shure dat da Pinkie crayola wazza added abundacat years later  in  1972 - I wazn't born then - wazza you?

Wishing you a purrfecto and nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Designing LIfe On The Go Go

 Itza all about da paws! Yep uh huh, da paws holds abundacat answers tooza da body's inner deeziner systems that keeps youza and me operating in fantasticat style, just like da Yingy and da Yangy, so whatsa really  fantasticat thing to do with yur paws? Visit a fabucatulous deeziner to get da deezine scoop on how to looks more meowvalously meowvaloso! 

 Itza me riding in da LimOhZeen to get to da Deeziner. Itza foggy in San Franfuncisco so I wore my EyeTailYun hat custom deezined by HAZEL LUCY. I'll betcha my limo driver wishes HE had one cuz heeza driving with the heater on up furont!

Houston weeza landed! Datsa Me & Myself with my  zealous zany road crew and weeza meeting and greeting the famoso BACCA DA SILVA - deeziner extraordinaire. Oh Catzowey Bacca is the Cat's Meow for cool catzowey couture (fur guys & da gals)

                     I loves trying on Bacca's deezines cuz theyza versacatacle fur shure! My keen cat eyes sees da tropicatical parrots on this sweater and thinks it's terrificat to be just above those birds of a fine feather cuz weeza close and almost together.  Now thatza CATZOWEY sweater fur mio!

              Hey I got duo diamond angelicat Hello Halos! Getting swirly and girly but I loves da spectacucatular PURRilliant Diamonds cuz theyza magical and when youza wearing dem and thinking This Will Be da meowment, well youza never ever knows whatza gonna happen next....

Youza might just have an Unforgettable hug,  yep uh huh datsa exacticatically whatza happens!

Bamzatini! My inner deeziner system izza  exhausticatted but I wishes you a nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Do You Nose What I Know?

Definicatically, itza impurrtant always to be current and  in the know, so youza can be furst on yur block to have da Catzowey ideas!  Waaaay befur I wazza born and got current on stuff, somebody in 2003 wrote a funtasticat book -   "1000 Places To Visit Before You Die" - even with 9 lives I could never ever visit datza many places cuz I'd never ever be home! I luvs having my paws at home, away frum da  spotlights of da Purress.  Seems the Book author furgot to mention having fun foods at home is good, cuz thatza comfurt foods without visiting all da 1000 places and if youza eating at home youza duzn't have to pack da suitcase.

Me & Myself izza ecstaticat to say - relief izza on da way!  7x7 Magazine frumza da City of San Franfuncisco has the 2010 "Big Eats List" in their August meowgazine:   "100 Things To Try Before You Die" - CATZOWEY! Thatza 900 less things to do than the book lady suggests. So I got my paws into thizza and I'ma trying stuff without using my Passpurrt or standing in Homeland Security lines. Come with me fur funzatini!

#1 on the "Absoluticatical Must Try" list the meowgazine sez izza food fur da soul: WAFFLES & FRIED CHICKEN. So being the  soulful smitten kitten datza I am, I'm making Waffles and Fried Chicken at home - no interrupshun frumza da Purrpurrazzi in da Ristorante. Gonna have it look exacticatically like the foto and here I goes in the knows .....

Gotza my Multi-Meowster Grain, roaster toaster waffles all ready,  and my organicat chicken too! Basta Pasta! Everything izza furrozen like ice ages! Itza pawsible dat me and myself might be into great idea #99  and visit all 1000 places in da world befur my food thaws. Itza diverse dish:  youza can purrpare Waffles & Chicken or  reverse it tooza, and have Chicken & Waffles.  But which of my 9 lives izza I gonna enjoy it in???

Whether youza wheeling thru New Zealand, having an awesome pawsome time in Australia, bobbing fur apples the right way in Zimbabwe, or catnapping on a purrristine white sandy organicat litter styled beach in the Catibbean, well itza fur shure ...  youza needs to get off yur paws and be a  relaxacat if youza gonna try all the 1000 places to see and 100 things to try. Get rested befur you starts!

Wishing youza da mostest meowvalous CATZOWEY and nonCATastrophic week.

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Politicatically Correct Wedding Crasher

Furstly I wanna admitacat to you, shhhh dontcha tell nobody else... but  I didn't get da PurrEyeVat invatayshun to da Chelsea-Marc New Yawk wedding, so I  decided to pawty cwash like all da folks do at da giganticat White House pawties! Whatza else izza guy to do?  Well itza simple... Me and Myself went looking fine feline bridey maidsy style, and yep uh huh I donned da willowy hot weather white bridey stuff cuz the secreto service wouldza never ever know itza me and myself! Bamzatini - I was in to da wedding venue with my cat eyes and secret paw camera!

Suddenly like before my 9 lives passed befur my smitten kitten eyes, I got into the bridesy maidsy line fur our OhFishYul fotographer purrtraits and I had to not look at the camera - supposed to beeza OH nachural look like youza not pawty cwashing...

Once da fotographer departed, I rapidcatically sneaked over to the giftie table sekshun and checked out the silver Champagne glasses and WOWza MEOWza - Chelsea had da rolled organicat nip ala vegan style fur all her guests! Molto bene pawty favours Chelsea!  Sheeza gotta be a cat momma fur shure!

I had to get up close and into da sterling silver champagne glass so I couldza hear da bubbles of  authenticat FURench bubbly going snap crackle and pop - itza da real stuff theyza serving cuz theyza got impurrtant guests whooza knows when youza skimps or serves da real  authenticat stuff!

Time for da Bride to give us Bridesy Maidsies her gifts of ah-purr-shee-hayshun - and I had a hiss fit over da pearls necklace! Catzowey I'ma Man Cat but I'ma also da pawty cwasher so me and myself had a short hiss fit then smiled fur da fotographer - no purrrpurrrazzi atza this event!

Nowza I'ma exhausticatted frumza travelling from coast to coast to cwash the wedding pawty, so I'ma gonna catnap all week while da Mewlyweds izza wherever theyza izza.If they comes to CalEyeFurKneeYah I'll have a meatball pawty fur them - fur shure!

I shure wishes you a nonCATastrophic week! Yep uh huh I do!

Ciao &  Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Manners: Propurr and Polite Is Right!

Me and Myself are pawsatively hanging around,thinking about life in da middle of the Sum Sum Summer time. Yep uh huh, it's fur shure cuz life in Winter, Spring, Fall or Sum Sum Summer time pawsatively passes by exacticatically as fast as the pot of Raviolis boils at sup sup supper time. Itza purrplexing fur shure: da times pass by faster in Sum Sum Summer time even though weeza gotza da loooongest day of da year on June 21st.  With everything zipping by so fast, I wanna us to thinks back to when weeza inky dinkies, and remember da stuffs  fur being purrfectly polite that we was taught. Yep! I'ma catchatting about "Manners", just propurrr polite is right manners. Weeza got politicatical manners, envirocat manners and da meowvalous dinner manners. Here goes our paws down meowmory manners lane....

Yungun Manners  # 1

Never make rash and crash decisions cuz dats not good manners. When youza hanging out, hanging up or hanging down with no paws on the ground,stop fur a mini meowster second and look to da left then look to da right and take yur time fur da free fall.

Yungun Manners #2

Itza  good manners and impurrtant to always watch yur water consumpshun from da start, cuz youza never ever too old or tooza yungun to be environmentally correctacat.

Yungun Manners #3

Daily good manners is to  be da inspectacat and divide da trash so youza recycles correctacatically.

Yungun  Manners #4

Be shure to always check out da water level in yur flower vase or yur BeeYouTeeFull flowers gonna not be too purrty when da water level izza below da "Stop! Yur Smitten Kitten self has drinked all my water!" baseline.

Yungun Manners #5

Itza purrfecto manners to not get boxed in, always keep yur options open and be shure youza has a view of everything frum everywhere. Yep uh huh, youza wanna see frumza inside to da outside and sneak da peak back in. Itza definicatically impurrtant youza sees whatza going on frum all direkshuns - that eliminates youza having a surprise from somewhere!

If youza mature meowster or yungun or da secret age cuz youza not gonna tell, justapurrractice da manners cuz youza gonna be a contentacat and purrsons gonna have da respectacatable OhPinion of youza tooza.

NOWza MEOWza go and have a  fantasticat nonCATastrophic week! 

Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty