December 24, 2020

It’s Time For Lil Saint Nick’s Cwismas Message

`Twas the night before Christmas, 
and all through the house
all the creatures were stirring, 
including the mouse

And all of the animals - the birds and the cats
Awaiting the Big Guy 
(you know: white beard and a sack)

They nibbled the treats, set out with great care
Careful to avoid getting milk in their hair

Then they stretched on the carpet, 
and lounged on the couch,
“He’s late,” they complained,
“that lazy old slouch!”

They had a proposal they wanted to place
To Mr. Claus himself, direct to his face

Yet as the night lingered, sleep was their escape
Except for one kitten climbing the drapes

She’d napped most of the day 
and was now fully alert
(‘Though covered with schmutz, 
some dark chimney dirt)

She finally saw him, black boots from the flume
White beard, big tummy: 
jolly you-know-old-who

He ho-ho’d quite gently, 
asked had she been good
“Skip the pleasantries,” she responded, 
“if we just could."

We’ve something to ask, a bit of a favor:
A change to your flight plans, 
one we hope you might savor

Instead of the trinkets, bright baubles and toys,
Deliver us, dear Santa, to good girls and boys

There are so many of us homeless, 
in the sanctuary we sit
Use Christmas magic,
In your red sack we’ll fit.”

Santa was touched by this most wondrous plan
But some things, he knew, were out of his hands:

For the answer to the crisis of pet homelessness
Requires a change in human consciousness

So he and that kitten now face us and plead:
Please value these lives, 
it’s the coming year’s need

Respect them and love them, 
treat them like treasure
They’ll return those sweet gifts 
many times beyond measure

And in some Christmas future, 
we hope for a true holiday
Every Lanai cat has a person for play

And to love them, yes, and to honestly care:
Then true Christmas for all, 
for all a family to share.

Brought to Us By Our Friends at
Composed by Board Member, Mr. Ken White

My Sistah Grappa is smitten for Lanai Cat Sanctuary Kitties

I feels full of Aloha-ha-ha spirit when I 
thinks of all my friends at the Lanai Cat Sanctuary

In true Hawaiian, here’s my MELE KELIKIMAKA 

And a Buon Natale too!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

December 21, 2020

Are Ya Feeling The Holly Days Or Dazed By The Holidays?


Catzowey! I hear it's dat time of the Year for Ho Ho Ho’ing and Ha Ha Ha’ing! It's fur sure ya don’t wanna stress out. Ya wanna enjoy being Holly Dazed with all the meowvalous things you and yourself are doing and not doing during these non meowvalously normal holidays.

No chance am I rapping, dats normal, but it’s for sure 
I’m unwrapping.

Cwismas is the purrfecto time to hug - but dangzatini 
we gots dat Covid creep keeping us from hugging.

Up on the tree top I’ma gonna hop hop hop ...
It’s for sure I’ma not gonna stop stop stop!

Do you hear what I hear?
There’s a star, yup uh huh supposed to be a super shiny star in the East 
UP UP UP there somewhere so gonna follow dat star, yup I are.

Absoluticatically meeting & greeting Signore Santa is the mostest 
meowvalous part of being Holly Dazed & dats normal! 
Kinda like my being super duper star struck when I met Morris the Cat.... 
oopsatini I means when Morris met me!

Don’t Monkey around this Holly Dazed season!

Frosty dat Snowyman, Rudolfo dat Reindeer and Me & Myself all are
feeling Holly Dazed and sending abundacat Meowy Cwismas wishes
to you, yup YOU!

Pssst .... remember to put some sardines, impurrrted cheese,
 a creamy cannoli & cool chianti out on Cwismas Eve when you goes 
nighty night cuz Santy Paws is gonna be dropping by and he
sure gonna needs some goodies to rev him up for the next stop.

Buon Natale - hey dats EyeTailYun for Merry Cwismas!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty



October 26, 2020



It's fur real! Halloween is Boo-Tasticat!! And I got my furst Halloween
dressing uppa lessons from my momma Baci when I was just
a smitten kitten waaaay back in 2006. 
Momma Baci loved Halloween
cuz she wazza orange as a Cat-Oh-Lantern! I loves loves
loves dressing uppa for Halloween so here we go with my
my favorito costumes.

Yup Uh Huh it's me and myself having a mini meowster
 bewitching fine feline time.

 As I grew into my ears, I was hearing 
"Hey Guido you're a Lil Devil" so me & myself
dressed uppa as a Lil Devil!

When I gotta lotta bigger I dressed up on Halloween 
an Aloha-Ha Hawaiian tourist visiting dat Pineapple farm!

 The next year I became an
Australian Cowboy.
 I was meowing "Yee Hah".
Yup uh huh it's true,
while rounding uppa the jumping kangaroos.

 Move on over Signore Johnny Depp - have you met 
Pirate Di Giorno Guido from EyeTailYa?

This izza where my Staff needs to be
written uppa cuz there izza no sense in dressing
my mancat self uppa as a Mouse! 
Purrrhaps Staff overdosed on Catnip-Lattes!
Holy Cannoli my lil sistah Grappa gets the
purrrrize for being a real Lil Devil!  She thinks
her name is "NoGrappaNO!"

Itza meowvalous when ya veg out with the veggies!
 These are bambino pumpkins and someday
they're gonna be big like Me & Myself.

And this 2020 year Me & Myself is dressing uppa
as a Fine Feline FURst Responder ....
Doing house calls for those who need
their TemPURRRature taken or if they’re
hyPURRRRventilating I can help.
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

October 12, 2020

When The Moon Hits The Sky Like A Big Pizza Pie .. It’s Columbus Day!


Basta Pasta !
Today is MY favorite day of the Year.....

Wearing the Italian colors makes me 
and myself
 Purrrrrrroud! (Plus dat green 
matches my eyes.. Italian eyes!

                                   Hee Hee Hee! It’s me & myself wrapped 

                        up in my mostest meowvalous Italian Blankie.

            Catzowey - AM I looking like a Chef di Giorno
on dat Ravi OH OH OH Li can 
 an Italian baseball player?

Nope, it’s not a COPPOLA !
It’s my super duper Italian Ski hat for
when my paws are skiing in the
Italian Dolomites looking for Italian mice,
 Yup Uh Huh!

Holy Cannoli my little fratella (hey dats Italian for Sistah) is 
in the Columbus Day mood too

She’s Grappa and gots a real Italian name like me

Me and Myself wishes meowvalous you a day of 
Roaring Red Raviolis, 
Purrrfecto Purrrrrciuto and oodles of Oh My Pizza Pies!

Amore mi amici!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

September 15, 2020

Holy Cannoli .. I Forgot To Remember It’s September!



 Catzowey! September 1st has come and almost
gone and it was the day my lil sistah Grappa was born!
So I put on my hearty party hat for her to party.

Here she is .. #NoGrappaNO doing her Seventh
And wearing pearls too cuz Grappa is a girly girl even 
though she’s CEO of a Deeeeeestruction company.

Hee Hee this pic is my lil sis Grappa 6 years ago when yup,
WHEN she climbed UP UP UP the 1911 fireplace with a 
white chest and came down not so white!  Hair salons would be
amazed over this hair color transition - MOL MOL!
YUP SFFD was not gonna rescue her lil naughty self!

Cheers to 7 great naughty awesome always amazing
years with my lil sistah Grappa
Now you know why we call her #NoGrappaNO

Have a nonCatastrophic week please
and lemme know if you need some meowvalous
purrs as I’m always on the job! Reminder for ya,
I’m a certified Animal Assisted Therapy Cat 

Ciao and Meow
GUIDO the Italian Kitty


August 16, 2020

CATZOWEY - Guess What Occurs Every August?


Meowvalous Me & Myself got my Forever Home on August 4th 2006 
14 years ago   ... Yup Uh Huh
That’s August 4th 2006 - and look at me with my new Momma Baci!
She sure kept me in line cuz she’s an EyeTailYun momma cat and 
EyeTailYun Mommas don’t mess around!

Immediately I learned how to give the Staff “the Cats Eye” 

And it’s for sure I became an Envirocat at an early age teaching my Furiends
around the Planet to watch your water! Yup do not waste your water! Watch it!

Envirocat Me got into purrrrtecting paper too - cuz that’s what an Envirocat does!

Meowvalous to be up on  high places looking at the whole Planet !

Now 14 years later Me & Myself is a
Dapper Signore Cat styling and smiling at life cuz
life is meowvalous.

And pssst... 
I tells ya I’m kind of wishing  Me & Myself was going to the 
Academy Awards for some dressing uppa
and  funtasticat stuff and star watching too cuz I gots my
RayBans ready for star watching.
 But dangzatini it’s closed to us Meowsters this year they say.

But better than the Academy Awards is my meeting Missus Barbara years ago
at my Certified Animal Assisted Therapy Job at The ARC of San Francisco seniors
center where Me & Myself has volunteered for 13 years
YUP uh huh safe to say I been working all my life.

PSST.. not sure if ya knows but 4 weeks ago I got a Doctor who says I has 
Stage 3 Kidney Disease  (My staff hears there are 5 stages) - so puhleeeze cross your paws for me 
I’d be so so so grateful if ya can do dat. 
I just wanna keep on giving out purrs galore to everybody I 
loves so much- and dats YOU!

So Folks, I loves loves loves ya!
Be Safe & Stay In Touch With Me,
and please have a nonCATastrophic week,
Amore &
 Ciao & Meow too
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

July 27, 2020

Holy Cannoli I'm Not Monkeying Around These Days

Me and myself are not monkeying around  these days
with the quarantine.
But we sure are happy to meet this
masked monkey dude .. aren't you?

Feeling Starstruck with Venus aligned with Jupiter?
Put on your Hollywood Dark Glasses but watch it from
INSIDE so ya don’t get out of your bubble! 
you cause dat covid trouble!

Well well well .... we EyeTailYuns know Red Peppers
are as sweet as a meowvalous kiss so
get yourself a rocking Red Pepper to
pump up your lips.

Hee Hee Hee - I swear it's true about Red Peppers
cuz my Man Cat meowster lips are pumped up & I'm
smiling wildly too!

Nowza Meowza  Me and Myself are
just hanging out after indulging in the
sweet heat of Red peppers and
feeling exhausticatted

Catowey! It's for sure, I'm chllaxing and relaxing cuz
ya may have heard I got dat Stage 3 Chronic Kidney Disease.

Yup diagnosed July 20th 2020
Dangzatini Me & Myself gonna beat this dude at his game!
So I ask you & your furmily to cross da paws, knees
toes, fingers, tails & whatever you can cross that
I gets bettah and back to feeling meowvalous
AND please join me at #TeamGuidoStrong
Cuz the power of the paws works !

Abundacat Hugs - HEALTHY HUGS of Course!
And cheers to YOU having a nonCATastrophic week

Ciao & Meow
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

July 3, 2020

Hoorayzatini - Pass Me My 4th of July Meowtini

Can ya believe dat Spring sprung and now it's
some sorta sum sum Summer time already.

Me & Myself are in the sparkling mood for celebrating - yup even an
 EyeTailYun kitty
loves dat 4th of July day and this year it’s on CATURDAY ..Hoorayzatini !

 Licking my Man Cat chops cuz 4th of July
means abundacat foods - good stuff, yup uh huh!
Like barbecued everything, sweet taters with nip dressing and
super duper creamy pie.

My lil sistah Grappa is roaring ready and
looking kinda Patrioticatish too!

 Weeza been quarantined so many months here
dat if I didn’t see this sign when I was out driving my Cat-Oh-Lac
Me & Myself wouldn’t even know it’s the 4th of July cuz we missed
March, April, May and June too ... bummeroni.

We Meowsters are missing the normal 4th of July fun so weeza
reminiscing about fantasticat 4ths in our
past - here we are grabbing a tan one year at a pool pawty.

Don’t unfurl your safety and be sure ya distance your paws
 from other paws.
And pawsatively here’s my cheers to our 1st Not-So-Normal 4th of July,
but a healthy one for sure!

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Funtastic Finer Niners Funday On Sunday

  Up here at the Rainbow Bridge, we all have da front row seats with a Birds Eye view of da game. Yup it’s gonna be a purrrrrfecto funday Su...