December 27, 2009

Look Into My Eyes Fur 2010 Mew Year Purrdictshuns

The unruly & without rules Wall Street fat cats (they'za not neutered either!) are purrdicting lotsa good stuff fur us (yep thatza me and youza too), so I'ma gonna tell youza what my smitten kitten self purrdics fur 2010 cuz itza definicatically true and fabuloso fine news and mews. But there's something terrificat youza gotza hear NOWza MEOWza .... so lend me yur ear here....

Furstly, if ya wants a good Mew Year, ya gotta make da Mew Years Resolushuns - yep uh huh and keep em too. Itza matter of factacatical that weeza do this - cuz it'll keep us moving in da pawsative direkshun. And let's face it folks .... CATZOWEY! We all needs da pawsative direkshun, like purrhaps an overdose of pawsative stuff is our 2o1o purrscripshun (I'll take a year's supply of dat!) , cuz 2009 was a way short of pawsative goodies (my nip grower closed and my fishyman furiend lost his boat).
Furst Mew Years Resolushun is (befur we gets to da Purrdictshuns fur 2010), I'ma gonna meownitor my caffeine consumpshun cuz I dontza wanna be looking like this dude who's over Catfeinated!

And me and myself izza gonna read more fun stuff in the Mew Year cuz fun stuff izza comicatical and then youza can shred it fur da litter box and thatza called recycling - and I'ma Envirocat so recycling izza mandacatatory in my house. Thizza is da win win winner of purractical Mew Years Resolushuns!

Resolushun 3: I'ma absoluticatically gonna work on my impurrted Nip consumpshun and purrobably increase it abundacatically while getting my paws to know my Nip better - up front and close. Dats a very good Resolushun for da Mew Year.
Da Resolushun 4: Exercise is a giganticat part of my Mew Years Resolushuns and I'ma gonna be a Yogi Cat and do my yogatini and Downward Doggy every day. Then gonna kick back my paws with a cup of hot mulled Yogi Tea to continue da relaxacat and de-stressing meowments.

Resolushun #5: Me and myself izza gonna enroll in da flower class cuz we needs abundacat help with da petals arranging and flowers makes ya happy on a cloudy day.Nowza itza time fur da Non Wall Street Crystal Ball 2010 Purrdictshuns! Youza been waiting payshuntly all year fur this.

My meowster eyes see this coming 2010 willza be da most meowvalous year ever cuz youza deserves it fur shure. Me and myself also purrdicts youza gonna smile in a meowment and youza gonna give someone a hug too - maybe a 2 legged furiend and purrhaps a 4 legged buddy. Datza my HAPPY MEW YEAR purrdictshuns! Holy Cannoli and Meowster Mustaccioli - I furgot to tell ya to remember dat youza very speshule - yep uh huh - youza is so so so speshule, so please ringy dingy ding in da MEW YEAR safely.

Ciao & Meow & Happy Happy Mew Year!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

December 20, 2009

I'm Rapping While Wrapping !

Jingle and mingle and dangle it all - shuksatini I'ma having a ball! Cuz itza da time of the year when ya don't wanna hear "so many days left" till Santa will appear! Gotta get my organicat Snow Pal ready fur a stroll, cuz itza time fur a politicatically correct Holly Daze wrap and roll.
Tis da season to be jolly and oh mama mia and by golly - Me and my smitten kitten self izza bizzi cuz weeza little bit wrapped up in da Holly Daze tizzy....

Don't let yur giftie wraps get out of control ... and if you do, be shure ya ducks frum da giganticat roll.

"Do you see what I see?" Itza roll - a catzillion sized roll of paper for rapping. Said the inky dinky little Drummer boy to the lamb ... Hmm me and myself just loves
da tuna sashimi so I'm gonna forego da ham!

I wazza Star struck at furst site, yep uh huh, when I met Missus Paws on an awesome pawsome holy night. She asked if I'd been naughty or nice and I said "shuksatini lemme give youza da advise". I'ma EyeTailYun and not once izza I bad - but purrhaps I canza improve myza English just a tad!

Yikes weeza Sirprized dat Cwismus is here, so me and my whole family wishes youza happy Holly Daze and good cheer!

Ciao & Meow & Buon Natale (datsa EyeTailYun)!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty and Baci (dats her having da Holly Daze hiss fit), Yolo my little brofur, and our Landlord, Lender and Chefette ~ Momma.

Our "Happy Holly Daze" family foto izza izza made pawsable by my fabuloso favorito fotographer, Mark Rogers

December 14, 2009

Holiday Hiss Fits - FREE At The Post Office

Da Post Office never ever gives nothing fur free, but today you can get absoluticatically FREE, a Hiss Fit - no charge at all cuz it's the bizziest day of the year at da Post Office and theyza wants youza to have something Free frumza them. Whooza to thank? All da folks who have not mailed the gifties that gotza be under someone's tree by Demeowmber 24th! Catzowey they'za had a whole year to do this so theyza must have been catnapping alot! That means catzillions of people in da Post Office line gonna be picking up their free Hiss Fits. Yep uh huh, itza fur shure youza gonna be hearing hissy fities from every direkshun in da Post Office today. But itza free!

Befur youza goes to get yur free Hiss Fit today, make shure yur PURResents fits nice and tight and are safely snug in da box.

Then youza got to wrap up da giftie box - like wrap and snap it closed BUT make shure youza comfurtable with da Holly Dazed paper fur yur purresents.

And last but definicatically not least - be shure youza hugs yur giftie box and says Arreverderci to da box. NOWza MEOWza youza heads out da furont door with yur propurrly packed and wrapped gift and off you go to get yur free Hiss Fit at the Post Office!
Itza time now to figure out how to hang my Stocking on da mantle but gonna catch a little catnap during thizza meowvalous hecticat season. Me and myself wishes YOU a nonCATastrophic week and remember to go and pick up yur absoluticatically free Hiss Fit at da Post Office!

Ciao & Meow
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

December 6, 2009

Purrpondering The Purrfecto Holiday Tree

Itza here! Yep uh huh, the Holly Daze has arrived and on time and dat means itza time fur me to go up my tree, oopsatini, I mean PUT up my tree. But befur I can twim my tree, I have to selectacat da absoluticatically purrfecto tree. I read it in da book "Purrfecto Tree Seleckshun Fur Dummies" (datsa not EyeTailYun), that youza gets to know yur tree really really well cuz itza reflecting yurza purrsonality . Hey datsa brilliant idea!
Following what da book author said, (nope no way heeza EyeTailYun or he'd be writing about Cwismus Eve Ravioli Recipes!), I tells ya, I'ma getting to know my twee and checking out its self, and its thickness at the center (cuz I got that too). I likes to have a tree I can relate too and a tree that can handle my needs (like hold me and my paws when I branch walks).
Oh holy night and a weeza Three Kat Kings of Orient are traveling with da twee twimming stuff from lands a far! These lights musta been strung all around da world from da Canary Islands to Catalonia, hmmm duz youza remember putting these lights away last year all orderly and nicely packed? Catzowey! I thought they was all NOT tangled up .... shuksatini now I'ma checking my lights and checking them twice! Somebody hazza been naughty and not meowvalously nice.

Untangling da catzillion strands of lights almost put me in da hiss fit but I meownaged, cuz I take Yogatini every day and I hazza accomplished breathing IN and OUT fantasticatically to calm me and myself when I'm feeling a hiss fit landing on my shore. I focuses on the meowment and the meowment of focus wazza these Holly Dazed ornaments. Focus focus feline focus and no hokus pokus!

Deck my tree with bows of holly and letza be jolly! I'ma in da Holly Dazed mode fur shure and I'ma not even standing under da bows of Meowstle Toe or sipping a mug of hot mulled fureshly brewed nip.

Me and myself izza wishing YOUza and YURza a nonCATastrophic week - and I'ma demandacatting youza not be stressed out during the Holly Daze and don't have da hiss fit when da walls of your Ginger Bread House izza found collapsed da next morning - don't blame it on da cat!.

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

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