December 25, 2011

Spiraling Into The Mew Year

Catzowey! I'm shure youza as exhausticatted as Me & Myself, from all the spiraling Holly Daze cativities.  Now, itza the beginning of the finale final week of 2011 and I'ma stretching my man cat memory to remember the past Holly Daze week and all the speshule memories fur shure.

 I remembers, someone visited me, yep uh huh I knows they did fur shure, and theyza checked their hat into my cat-in-the-hat check room, and left without it!

I remembers when I wasn't taking Holly Dazed catnaps, Me & Myself meeted and greeted abundacat furiends cuz Holly Daze time is dat time to meet and greet in fog, snow or sleet.

I duz remember itza Holly Dazed meowment dat makes my EyeTailYun self blush.

Oh Catzowey I also remembers, purrrverbial organized me, packed my Cwismus packages with stuff I  luv and shipped them off, oopsatini I means shipped my packages to everybody I luvs.

And I remembers on Cwismus Day, Me & Myself got so so so exhausticatted weeza had to pass out and get revived with da impurrted EyeTailYun sardine smelling salts cuz we gotta be wide cat-eyed and a little bushy tailed to ringy dingy ring in the 2012 Mew Year !

Meowvalous cheers to this Mew Year being purrfecto for all and for all having abundacatnaps and hugs galore, and some nice bowls of Pasghetti & Meatballs too. Wishing you a nonCATastrophic finale last week of this Year.

Ciao & Meow! See youza next meowvalous year!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

December 18, 2011

Holly Jolly & By Golly It's That Time!

Deck the halls with boughs of Catnip,
Fa la la la la ...  well that's it!

Tis the Season to be meowvalously jolly,
No I'm not thinking about that Holly by golly.

Fa La La and Ho Ho Ho,
I thinks weeza should be singing "Weeza FOG'd In So Let It Snow!"

I hears da silver & red bells chiming ringy dingy ding dong,
Hey do youza knows a CATZOWEY Christmas Song?

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bells rock,
I wonders what Santy Paws izza putting in my EyeTailYun sock!

It's a fine time to go riding in dat one horse sleigh
But Me & Myself purrfurrs to say....

Buon Natale (datsa EyeTailYun!) & warm jingling jungle bell wishes tooza youza

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty & Staff

December 12, 2011

Top 6 Holly Dazed Faux Paws

Me & Myself has abundacat news bout what NOT to do during the Holly Daze and weeza calls them Faux Paws. Now thatsa not EyeTailYun word, itza FURench meaning "not acceptable to normal social norms."  And what's The #1 Holly Daze Faux Paw?  Do not dress uppa like Santy Paws cuz everyone gonna Ha Ha and not Ho Ho.

#2 Holly Daze Faux Paw:
Dontcha ever try to fill Santy Paws pants!

#3 Holly Daze Faux Paw:
Don't relaxacat and mingle and jingle under yur tree! BUT do fone da emergency folks as fasticat as you can if youza sees Rudolph down on da floor cuz that means heeza needs an organicatnip IV to get him back on track fast!

#4 Holly Daze Faux Paw:
Youza creating a giganticat four paws Faux Paw if youza walks on the dinner guests dinner plate before they arrives! But hey, theyza never knows cuz youza not gonna let dat cat of the bag! 

#5 Holly Daze Faux Paw:
Rearranging yur Cwismus Tree is not a Ho Ho Ho but it is a No No NO! Hey this is no grab bag so leave it as youza sees it.

#6 Holly Daze Faux Paw:
Itza more meowvalous to decorate INSIDE da house cuz these Holly Daze balls gonna fall down on da ground when the wind arrives, and go kaboom and youza gonna cry and have dat Holly Dazed stress attack.

Better than the 12 days of Cwismus, youza got " 6 Holly Daze Faux Paws" infurmayshun. You're on da way to mingling and jingling thru da Holly Daze and angling and dangling! Ooopsatini - speaking of dangling, my one and only favorito fotographer Mark Rogers caught me in a meowment of private junglemania and I only does my nachural poses for Mark cuz he duz no Faux Paws and duzn't make me dress up as Santy Paws. Pssst - if youza has friends in San Franfuncisco Bay Area, a purrfecto doggone great gift is a foto session with Mark Rogers  pet photographer extraordinaire!

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week with no Faux Paws-yep you can do it!

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

December 5, 2011

Rocking & Stocking My Tree With Me

There's a reason itza da Season to jingle and mingle all the way down the hall, and with a LaLaLasagna sized colorful ball! Itza da bizziest time of the year, but didja ever stop for a meowment to thinks about how bizzi Santy Paws' workshop is now? Theyza cranking out Silver bells and everything green and red,  faster than the sugar cane catnip-filled fairies can land to dance on my head. But without da Tree youza got nothing to dangle da balls, so you gotta have Tree, lots and lots and lots of Tree and then the "reason for the Season" begins.

 Oh Cwismas Tree, OH Cwismas Tree how will I get to the tippy top of thee?

 Catzowey! This is not a Partridge resting and nesting in a Pear Tree - itza someone branch walking and not talking bout it! Shhhhh, this is a highly purrsonal and well kept secret!

Twinkle twinkles inky dinky star. Puleeze tell me these lights got an end to them, and itza not far.

 Either I'ma shrinking into a smitten kitten size or we got tree ornaments made by the Jolly Green Giant factory. Me & Myself izza feeling dwarfed under my Buon Natale tree, and do you see what I see?

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week. Make it hiss-fit-free , no worrying or scurrying bout where you put dat on-sale wrapping paper youza bought last year! We're gonna skate thru these HollyDazed days together - yep uh huh itza fur shure we'll jingle and mingle, and deck out in our own halls with giganticat Cwismus balls, and some nip and ho ho holly, by golly.
Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

November 28, 2011

Scaling Down With Fishy Feelings

I'ma not cat chatting about Turkey rightovers or Turkey leftovers or Turkey Tettrazinni or Meatballs di Turkey. And there's more in store: Me & Myself izza notta curious as a cat bout how stuffed to the meowximum you are after dat looooong Thanksgiving Day weekend. So what's so fishy about not wanting to cat chat bout Turkey?

Saying ciao Turkey and I'ma scaling down my Man Cat waistline cuz Holly Daze are arriving I hear. Gots my Cat Eyes open and listening to my furiend who says to always get abundacat opinions, not just one, then it's not too fishy.

Holy Cannoli my fishy furiend has steered me directacatically into the deep blue diving land of a family of fishies and I thinks something is really fishy fur shure! Shuksatini, I forgot my Guido Speedo and don't have my immortal Snorkel with me. But itza fur shure, it's better to be fishy and scaling down around town, then to be a Turkey!

Catzowey! Dat looks purrrcisely like my tail!

 Do youza purrponder this fine fishy and Me & Myself got da same DNA and are geneticatically related? Heeza got scales and I gets on da scale; heeza got a tail like mine; heeza likes to flatten out and so do I.  Uh oh, he izza real catfish I thinks!

Me & Myself izza gonna give uppa on fishy fishes tales and pawsatively, yep uh huh it's fur shure, gonna just be a kicked back independacat, cuz itza not as fishy!

Wishing you da mostest meowvalous and nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

November 21, 2011

Abstain From Rain

Gimme shelter! Here in San Franfuncisco the rains have arrived and I duzn't purr when my fur has da Frizz-Eaze, cuz a man cat gots to have all fur in place at all times!  Me & Myself izza always purrrpared and got my bella umbrella within paws reach.

The fairly seasoned weather purrson on TeeVee always suggests getting under something plastic when rain begins. So I immediately dived into my CalEyeFurKneeYah almonds bag cuz itza plasticat fur shure - purrobably not politicatically correct but hey, itza from Whole Paycheck Foods Company so itza gotta be environmentally correctacat stuff.

Definicatically - my EyeTailYun face says I'ma purrturbed and disturbed cuz the rainy drops izza disrupting my catnaps. So what's a guy to do when itza raining dogs and cats and abundant drops hitting my windows waking me uppa? Well I tells youza ....

You pack it up and head over to sit down with the One Youza Luvs and snuggle wuggle in the wain. Yep uh huh itza guaranteed to keeps youza warm in the storm. 

AhTenZeeOhKnee! Thanksgiving holiday arriving this week in the USA and we all knows there were no EyeTailYuns at that furst feast back on da East Coast in 1621. Good thing cuz I hears they didn't serve any pasghetti or La La Lasagna. I shure hopes the day after Thanksgiving izza filled with gob gob gobbles of turkey rightovers, oopsatini I means leftovers  and some turkey tetrazzini too (hey datza EyeTailYun)! 

Happy doggone terrificat Thanksgiving good wishes and I gives da Thanks and da Grazies for YOU being MY furiend.
Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty


November 14, 2011

City Kitty Is Busy

Oh NO, itza not my birthday but everyday is speshule like a birthday so I starts it out in a good pawsative mood. I just purrtend like itza really my happy birthday speshule day. Hey..hooza not happy on their birthday?

First thing in da morning youza always wanna open yur eyes and smell the flowers in the early hours - rev up dat Flower Power.

Once a week I gotta get my cup O' catpuccino at Carmichael Salon cuz itza what gets my whiskers wiggling and stylishly spiffed. It's the purrfecto way to start my day the Guido way, and then I goes for the fluff and stuff treatments by the pros! It's kind of likes ordering the super dooper deluxe detailing on the EyeTailYun Furrari without the wax job.

Me & Myself  always reserves a deep moisturizing Man Cat Fur Wash Treatment and I has a whisker trim too. But youza right if youza thinks I opticatted out of their fine facial waxing treatment cuz CATZOWEY I likes my facial fur for shure!

Exhausticatted after starting my day the Guido way, so kicking back and relaxacatting at "Occupy My House" before I move into the next part of my only-in-San Franfuncisco day. 

Youza thinking you're on HD high caffein or watching 3D TeeVee, right?  Hey going to da salon, early morning hour of flower power and starting my day the Guido way wears Me & Myself out and this is the real us - up close and purrsonal. Psssst - come close so I can share a secret with youza:  if youza curious as a cat to know about my 2-tone lips, theyza nachural and not BowTaxed and my ivories are cavateez free.

Remember in November: No check out lines by shopping right here  at a catzillion online stores, while a portion of your purchases goes to dat animal org of your very own choice! All thanks to Adopt A Shelter and their catzowey caring company! Fur shure theyza all takes MasterCat Card or Ameowican Express, ancient dug up Greek Drachmas and purrobably Euros too.

Wishing youza meowvalous and nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

November 7, 2011

Purrfecto Time To Shop Till You DON'T Drop

 I'm hollering like they shout in Kmart, "AhTenShun All Shoppers" cuz I need youza to put down yur warm waffle that's floating in savory syrup, mute the TeeVee and hold the foam from over-foaming on your Catpuccino masheen, cuz I gots news! YOUZA can NOWZA shop from your home puter and your shopping dollars will go to animal organizations who shure are in need of the help.  Thanks to our furiends at ADOPT A SHELTER whooza invented this fine shopping furiendly company - you shop, ya don't drop, hey itza Catzowey!  Catch da super short infurmayshun VIDEO about how it works!  Say arriverderci to aisle exhaustion and shopping cart rage.

Holy Cannoli Is it true Thanksgiving Day izza arriving this month already?  Me & Myself fell right into my Fall basket when I heard dat.

Who said "Life Is A Bed Of Roses?" I'ma curious as a cat cuz we got no roses at this time of da year but we got da leaves fur leaf peeping and theyza furagrant free but funtasticatically colorful.

I gotta hold of a household tip just for you:   always have a dandy and handy item to tie up da colorful Fall branches, so theyza don't fall all over da floor and then youza gets blamed for making that mess. Yep uh huh, itza fur yur purrtekshun.

 I'ma always purrpondering how colorful things get at this time of da year when we gotta not so much sun sun sunny rays.

Yep uh huh itza fur shure, even with far less  sun sun sunny rays during the days, I still got my Job with the Seniors at their Senior Center. Itza more meowvalous than a day filled with sunny rays! Me & Myself always goes to my job purrfectly pawdicured and wearing a good deeziner shirt.

 As the Hollywood mewvie purrducers say  - it's a wrap! And here's to a nonCATastrophic week filled with abundacatnaps and purrhaps a creamy cannoli!

Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

October 30, 2011

Boozatini Itza Halloweenie!

 Only once a year on Halloween are weeza gonna be 'mob bobbing' fur apples, ringy dingy ding donging door bells for treats, tricking our furiends and going BOO how are YOU!  Itza meowvalous fun day to be dressed uppa like someone youza not really (blame it on yur hidden funtasticat fantasies!)  So to gets into the October 31st mood, Me & Myself has had our paws purrancing thru the Streets of Franfuncisco interviewing these Howling and Purrrowling furiends about what they're donning on Halloween, and WHY!

This doggone stylish dude "Dexter" is guilded in  gold - yep heeza got gold everywhere and itza giving the illusion that his legs really isn't so short cuz youza supposed to be gazing at his Howling-Ween hair  or his yards of gold chains - not his inky dinky legs! See, it works dat youza not noticing how short he izza. Hoorayzatini for GOLD!
 Bewitching, not at all bewildered, and not bothered but adoracatable is she with Halloween colors to match her meowvalous orange self - fully Halloween color compliant according to code! (pssst,   datsa my Momma Baci & her 16th birthday would be Halloween)

Purrfectly purrfumed Spring petals popping out early are purrobably making this pooch pant on overtime. Could he win the award for best doggone smile that lapped a mile?

Catzowey itza my little brofur Yolo looking San Franfuncisco stylish in his main Maine Coon fine feline fedora. Purrhaps heeza got Hogwarts, the YouKneeVersity of Wizardry on the mind!

It's purrobably CATch and release and fur shure it's every Meowster's dream: Sushi on Seaweed and please hold the WahWahsabi and Soy!

Move on over Captain Jack Sparrow and youza tooza Johnny Depp, cuz I'ma feeling like a radish!! OOPSATINI I means like I'm feeling Piratish with my cannoli chips ahoy and my pirate ship sailing and sailing over the Oshun Blue to you. All paws on deck nowza meowza, and bring your Trick 'n Treat bags too!

 Me & Myself gets so so so exhausticatted purrancing the Streets of San Franfuncisco but itza worth it to meet and greet so many diFURsified furiends and see their funtasticat and doggone great  Howling-Ween costumes.  Yep uh huh, itza fur shure,  Me & Myself izza gonna be home with my favorito pumkins - weeza sofa vegging on Halloween! Come on over and ringy dingy ding dong our door bell!

Wishing YOU a spooktacular and safe and really  nonCATatastrophic Halloween!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

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