Dodging Da Oscar PURRpurrazzi

WHAT a weeka and my four paws are doing high five and I'm shouting CATZOWEY cuz it's MahDeeGwaw and The Oscars too ... well me and myself calls them da A-Cat-A-Me Awards and it's a meowvalous increducatulous star studded night, cuz everyone is a glamorama cat in Hollywood. Oh believe me and my whiskers, cuzza I knowsa Hollywood cuz I flew there in August on da big bird when I was on da TV show "Think Like A Cat" - and we all know da Producer wasn't eyeTAILyun and he thought like a pooch! Oops, enuf of dat stuff!

I can't find my fellow eyeTAILyun movie star, Sophia Loren yet, so me and my stripes are trotting solo down da red carpet with a catzillion flash bulbs in my eyeTAILyun eyes, and it's fantasticat I gotta my finer designer Gucci-gold shades out - they're PURRfect fur keeping the PURRpurrazi wondering whatcha's thinking... ah ha, we all knowsa the press is curious as a cat fur shure! "Over here Guido! Is your tie a customized JohnnyFursattchi design? Hey Guido where's Sophia?" the purress folks are hooting and hollering.

The Red Carpet fur getting our fotos snapped, is outdoors, and we have furricane force winds on da red carpet in Hollywood (that's in CalEyeFurKneeYah) and I'm having a catOstrophic time keeping my gold Gucci's on....

Me and my smitten kitten self had a way up high mezzanine seat at da Oscars show (unless you and your paws are nominated, ya get relegated upstairs) so I had to get upon the railing to get a better view of all da razzle dazzle dat was happening on da stage.

Shure didn't wanna catnap thru anybody got MILK or missin out on saying Hello Kitty to Penelope Purr Cruise - she's incomPURRable and makes my whiskers wiggle! Ay carumba kitty!

It's MawDeeGwaw week which means Easter Wabbit dude is arriving in almost 40 days or 40 nights - whichever way ya looks at it, there's abundakitty time for catnapping fur shure before he and his giaganticat ears make his bouncing Bunny appearance.

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Pressing and Stressing Over Water

In CalEyeFurKneeyah, people are having a hiss fit cuz there's been no rain - what Composer wrote da song "It Never Rains In California?" Well he must have had a crystal cat ball from Baccarat-a-cat boutique in Purris France cuz his PURRdiction was right on!
Without a doubtacat, we need water, because, well, just because we need water- not just 2 leggeds but everyone needs water. Yep, uh huh, we need water fur all sorts of things.... some things ya just don't even tinks about.

You can bet I'll be steamin' big time if my PURRoctor & Gamble A Bit  steam iron has no water, gotta PURRess the wrinkles out of stuff to look sharp and an eyeTAILyun kitty would never catnap upon anything that wasn't just  divinely purressed and purrfect!

I'm an Envirocat and my  politicatically correct water saver is installed so faucet trickles now, but I'm on night watch, watching - that's what ya do on night watch, ya watch.

CATZOWEY I'm ecstaticat cuz my bowl is fureshly filled this morn (that night watch worked), but if we're gonna get our paws thru da drought, ya gotta do yur part so we don't get our water rashuned and get us creatures of habit out of our fashion of havin' water... 

Guido's 4 Paws Up Water Conservashun Tips of the Tail

1- Buy an electric razor to trim yur whiskers - furget the soap & water routine!

2-Make yur morning oatmeal with rich double cream milk - furget da water & furget yur waistline too!

3- Be create-a-cat and shower at the car wash with yur windows open. Double bubble fantasticat fun!

4- Don't use running water to thaw FURozen foods - take a few catnaps and it'll be thawed out by the time you wake up - I purromise you!

Remember, Mother Nature (has anybody ever met her?)  needs your paws to conserve and purrserve.

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

A Frugal Feline Valentine

Haven't received my PURRtion of the Economic Stimucatulous package, so I'm slimming down and cutting back the spending on my Valentine's purresents this year. Incidenticatically, I'm am giving Happy Hearts Day fashionable RED gifts and here's my choice for the Frugal Feline Valentine gift of '09 ...... EyeTailYun red peppers!

Figurin' out the PURRfect gift giving pepper is challenging cuz ya gotta check it out all over so the recipient is a contentacat when they get yur nice gift. Befur you do the checking out, ya gotta pick it up to feel the weight - nothing worst than a lightweight frugal feline valentine gift! This could lead to your getting ditched by yur Valentine and you'd be diving into the chocolates to console yurself!

Arrgh, that's a nasty not tasty green stem! Now my smitten kitten self is rethinking my Happy Hearts Day gift giving. Purhaps I shud furget my net meowster worth has gone to the litter box level, like gone with the wind, and maybe I shud furget being feline frugally affurdable this year. I really wanna spend more (just doing my part as a stimulating smitten kitten). My whiskers are wiggling thinking of tastin' da sweet chocolates from FURance, like the delecticatable treats at Richart Paris the beeYOUtiful choc boutique, well that puts my purr motor in motion and is Catzowey stimulating fur all.

My eyeTAILyun self is purrplexed and pondering over Red peppers OR Chocolates... Ah ha, they are alike: both have abundacat antioxidants and both help our one and only red heart, so the beat go on and that's impurrtant!

Happy Valentines Day and frugal or not - make it a fantasticat day!

Ciao & Meow
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Fantasticatically In The Semi Sweet Finals

CATZOWEY!!!! I know, Ohhhh yes I do know - Monday was a catastrophic day cuz nobody could start their day the Guido way cuz there was no Guido Gazette! Not even fur me, so it was heavy hiss fit time fur shure. Nope, I didn't catnap thru my editorial deadline. The Gazette had a glitch you could say, cuz me and my smitten kitten paws were out on the campaign trail and not at my catzowey computer.

I've been sleep daPURRived drumming up votes fur 8 days cuz I wanna be the Bissell Vacuum 'Pet of the Year' spokescat. Actualicatically, I just wanted to get into the semi finals and guess what!? I MADE IT! Yes, I'm in the semi finals, placed 5th with 4 canines - I'd say the dog dudes were in fine feline company and my eyeTAILyun whiskers are wiggling over dat win! If I'd come in Furst, then the vacuum masheen folks wuda mailed me a big masheen - something to pick up the feline fur they say - I think it purrobably picks up all da crumbs da humans drop too. So, placing #5 is jist fine with me and myself - we getta book on how to raise a dog! That's doggone interesting!!!!

During the campaign weekend, I meowsterly managed to snag a furront row seat fur the Super Bowl half time show - I'm not shure what the hoopla is all 'bout cuz I eat from a Super Bowl every day, every morning and every night. You can come to my house for a Super Bowl 365 days of the year with free food too!

Mille Grazie my furiends fur your votes and we can all be relaxacats till March when the Bissell board folks select the cutest pet pic from 60. It's time they had a cool cat repursenting dem!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty