Say Ahhhhh

Itza not Ahhhhh Choo and  I'm not under da weather, but I'm crooning Ahhhhh cuz I sees da signs of Spring popping and cropping up here and there and just about everywhere. Ahhhhh (there I goes again),  theyza beeYOUteeful! Itza recommended youza duz a taste taste on the organicat water cuz itza gotta be comfurtable for flowers so they stays a looooong time.   Hummmmzatini I thinks fur shure - yep uh huh - itza fur shure  I has come to the smart smitten kitten decision this water is a purrrfecto tempurrrrachure fur my Tulips.

NOWza MEOWza - we can cat chat about Tulips or about my EyeTailYun Two Lips!  Back to da fantasticatico florals: didja know dat my favorito florals make the trip all the way cross the oshun from Holland with no PassPurrt.

When youza gets yur impurrrted Tulips home, check them out from da bottom to da tippy tulip top. Youza hoping theyza furesh, furesh and gonna live thru all yur weekly catnaps and maybe thru a hiss fit too!

Remember da ancient purrractice of Feng Shui -  theyza been doing this before the furst feline set foot on da planet  - itza confurms how old Feng Shui is. Datza good cuz itza exerpienced and it tells ya exactactically where to place da flowers so youza gets all da pawsative reakshuns and good things happens to youza tooza.

Repurrting live from da snowey slopes of Vancouver and I gotta get back to da OH-Lympicks. I'ma rooting and tooting my EyeTailYun horn fur my homeland but I don't know when exacticatically weeza gonna see da Winter Pizza-tossing finals!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Purrresidents Day - Is It A Sweet Holiday?

Purrresidents Day - itza ultra confusing and not too amewsing, cuz some of youza worked like dogs while some of youza got to know yur sofa better, yep uh huh on da Purrresidents Day Monday Fun Day holiday! If everybody inza all da YouEssHay duzn't have da PURRResidents Day Holiday off, then I thinks itza lemon of a holiday! Datsa my OhPinyun, butza catzowey I'ma EyeTailYun so my OhPinYun may not count (shhhh dontcha tell,  but I'ma accustomcattted to nobody listening to me and myself).

Some places izza open fur biz and some izza closed on Purrresidents Day and nobody has the directacattory of whooza open and whooza closed which can give youza a giganticat hiss fit.  But I'ma ecstaticat my favorito market wazza open cuz I took along my MasterCat Card and purrrchased these mainly made in Maine cool blue berries (yepsatini - chilled, just like I'ma supposed to be doing to control my EyeTailYun blood purrrresshure... chilling out).

Hey! Itza NOT the lazy hazy dayz of summer yet! So blame it on berries of blue that are de-comPURRRessing me - ohhhh me and myself izza feeling  chilled and relaxacatted cuz da Mainly in Maine blue berries izza full of antioxidentacat stuff (nope datza not stuff fur yur teethies and not gonna help whiten and brighten da ivories).

After da fruitful meeting with da blue berries on Purrresidents Day, I meeted and greeted da Tiger Chief of PURRRtocol, (heeza inky dinky dude), but my giganticat self izza wishing him da giant  Gung Hay Fat Choy! Thatza not EyeTailYun, but I showed him my EyeTailYun pawpitality.  I'ma ecstaticat cuz itza da Chinese MEW Year and itza, well you know, hmmmzatini every 12 years itza da fabucatulous Year of The Tiger!  Absoluticatically meowvaloso and I'ma roaring while enjoying all da festivities till 27th of February. Shuksatini, me and myself wazza born in  2006 the Year of the Rat (drat!). Holy Guacamole and Basta Pasta, they say those purrsons born under the sign of the Rat are supposed to have a MEOWlancoly year thizza year I hear....

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week - pawsatively! And be shure youza finds out what yur Chinese Zodiac MEW Years Sign Is - yep uh huh itza impurrtant to knows whatza youza born under or over! 

Ciao and Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Crystal Clear Win At The Super Dooper Bowl

WOWza MEOWza! I looked into my Crystal balltles and they definicatically purrdicted the win - the biggest fur shure win of all my 9 lives. Didja see those Saints from NewOhLeans win that Super Dooper Bowl? I mean thizza wazza a super dooper game and fur shure the City of New OhLeans izza ecstaticats!  Oh I'm a humming and strumming on my EyeTailYun mandolin, "When The Saints Come Marching In"...

Arriverderci Crystal ball furtune telling bottles! Nowza I got my paws down on the ground going bonkers at da Pawty in the 4th quarter (I swear I didn't catnap at all!). Excusatini  AttenZeeOhKnee!  There wazza abundacat advertisements I shudda catnapped thru, all paying molto Euros per meowment and NOT one meowster in an ad! Me and myself saw chickens chewing on pancakes, a bull bouncing along side da famoso Catweiser happy horses and a buncha folks not wearin' da pants! Catzowey  -  I sees a man-cat sized hiss fit on my horizon!

Later I chilled out, and whenza you're a fantasticat game Fan, itza impurrtant you watches the game frumza every possible PURRspective....

And a fantasticat Fan never ever gives up on yurza Team no matter if theyza off the field or Up-Side-Downsey!

So I sends my giganticat CongratuCATulashuns to da New OhLeans Saints fur playing feline fair, not overdosing in Catnip and fur making all the City of New OhLeans ecstaticats!

Now I wantza youza to have a winning fantasticat week - no CATastrophic events and wishing you abundacatnaps. AND if youza needing to find out da future, just look into dat Crystal water balltle- it tells all.

Ciao & Meow,


GUIDO the Italian Kitty

iPad or MY Pad?

      Frustrayshun alert!  My smitten kitten self feels a hiss fit coming on cuz da news is abundacatically full (kinda like a bad litter box)  with stuff, yep uh huh, justa stuff and molto more stuff about the iPhone or MyPhone and the new iPad. Well shuksatini itza confusing and not too amewsing. So let's purrpetuate the situashun and streamline our 9 lives:  come on over to MY PAD and youza gonna have a fine feline time, fur shure, at my house!

When youza comes to  My PAD in San Franfuncisco, you might wanna be shure to wear da flowers in yur hair but itza not necessary cuz I gotza flowers in MY PAD - yep uh huh! I gotza flowers all over da place, even some petals in my face!

Me, myself nor nobody else izza gonna put your iPhone or iPad on da shelf at MY PAD cuz weeza gonna only put you and me up on da shelf where weeza gonna have the birds eye view of stimulating stuff! Itza da place di honor (thatza EyeTailYun!)  and purrhaps weeza even see a purrson's PURRmature balding spot or a crust of dust on da shelf -  but our lips izza zipped and we can't let da cat out of the bag if weeza sees stuff and fluff.

NOWza MEOWza! If youza feeling homesick fur yur home at MY PAD, youza can always reach out and touch someone, like me - cuz me and myself pawsatively wants youza to feel at home at MY PAD.

Don't waste almost 9 lives trying to figure out what to do with da iPad cuz youza gonna have far more fun at MY PAD! Now here's da instrukZeeOhKnees of the week:  youza be shure youza has da mostest fantasticat nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Catch Up And Chatter Over The Platter

Oh yes -  I loves to pawty cuz itza fur shure way to enjoy fantasticat furiends and furmily. Catzowey! Nothing makes my smitten kitten whiskers wiggle or my tongue tingle, like good foods on platters where we can have abundacat chatters and catch up. Holy rigatoni, this izza no Bologna baloney!

Befur ya gets to da pawty platters itza very impurrtant you wake up frum yur catnap and sturrrretch, yep uh huh sturrrretch. Cuz you wants all yur pawty muscles moving in da correcticat direction. Then like lickety splickety, you gets purrky and in the pawty mood.

NOWza MEOWza, weeza at da Pawty with furiends and furmily, and pawsatively weeza pawsitioned us at da wine bar cuz itza great place to meet n' greet or mingle and jingle. Snif-snifaloni! I thinks  I smells some molto meowster furmaggi and grapes... ahhhh datsa mewsic to my cat ears!

You can catch up and cat chat over da giganticat platters loaded with furesh Impurrted herb cheeses (purrobably a little NIP sprinkled on it too!)  and CalEyeFurKneeYah organicat fruits.

Wait a meowment .. is that a pawty platter of cat cwackers?  Youza can have da whole feline family of cwackers if yur pawty platter is family size.

When I'm finito catching up and cat chatting over the platters of appurrtizers, then I purrfurrs to cook a molto bene Risotto - yep uh huh like da fabucatulous EyeTailYun nicey ricey dish. And I tells ya, yep uh huh, da best Risotto is da Beretta, cuz there's no betta! And good mews: when da box is empty, youza can lean against da box and become a relaxacat, so this izza really recycling.

Always purrvide yur guests a place to be relaxacatted cuz catching up and doing so much chatter over the platter can make you a tad tired right in the middle of the pawty. When youza rested then you can return to da pawty fur more chatter over the platter!

Be shure YOU have a nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Dodging The Purrparazzi At Golden Globes

Itza cold week in January - but we gots a storm of warm awards entertaining youza and mio, so fur shure, I took all 4 of my paws to the glitteratzi Golden Globes. Good thing my extraordinaire assistacat suggested I pack my Hollywood shades fur my zippity do dah trip to La La Land, cuz theyza got flash bulbs popping everywhere in Hollywood! And if youza not wearing da shades then youza goes blinkety blink blink all da time and then youza gets a nonPURRfurential photo!

Itza prahpurr purractice in Hollywood that guys attending Golden Globes Award Ceremeowny always wears da Black Tie - so my purrsonal EyeTailYun deeziner from Meowlano Italia, had me looking at various purrcarious black and white fabrics.

Itza confewsing but amewsing when the Foreign Purress nominates da mewvees (I catnapped thru a few) then da mewvee stars wearing clothes theyza borrowed (basta pasta they don't own their clothes!) gets on stage to do purresentashuns. Theyza looks directicatically into da camera so theyza really looking smackity dabbity at youza at home so youza paying attenZeeOhKnee! This year there's abundacat confusing nominashuns : "Itza Complicated" but hey, life isn't complicated if youza meowster cuz life is CATZOWEY purrfecto! And "Julie and Julia"? Catzowey what state of the art nip is da Purrducer smoking dat he doesn't know exacticatically what's da name of his mewvie! And "Avatar" - wellza you tellza me if it spells something impurrtant backwards! Itza no new news that "Nine" izza my favorito pick cuz you knows 9 lives is what life's all about in my meowster mind and shhhh dontcha tell but da star in dis mewvee is named GUIDO!!

Once da Golden Globe ceremeownies wazza over (Shuksatini! I pawsographed so much I ran out of da inky dinky ink in my paw pen) I removed my Purrparazzi La La Land shades and kicked back to have a meowvalous fantasticat moment .... a PurrEyeVat moment with me and myself on the glitzy golden carpet.
At the end of the evening, I was ready fur my litter box - yep uh huh, some things never get Hollywood'ized!

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Warming When It's Storming

Nope, itza not meowmory loss and you've not catnapped thru da 2010 and fur shure, itza not Halloween already. I'ma justa fureeezing so I put on my other coat to stay warm in the storm.

Even my furiends in the Tropicatical places izza seeing white stuff fall frum the skies - datsa someting to see when youza lounging under da palm tree on da white sandy litter box beach or sipping a Meowtini on a Catamaran. So... purrhaps you and yurself izza both stuck in da house and purrpondering howza to warm up yur paws, and if that soundza like you, me and myself izza gonna SirPrize you with how exacticatically to get warm in the storm.

Furst ya wanna fur shure yep uh huh itza true, get yur smitten kitten mittens out frum yur pockets so youza can grab on and be bizzi. Itza purroven datza staying bizzi in the house izza one way to get warm in the storm. Purrhaps youza can rearrange things in yur shower or rub a dub dub tub.
Uncurling while unfurling the shower curtain can be da supuurbo warming exercise when youza feeling chilly. NOWza MEOWza - I'ma not saying to be cataclysmic and shred da curtain - justa fix it nice.

CATZOWEY! Never be bizzi wtihout wearing yur watch so youza exacticatically knows when itza time to stop being bizzi and time to catnap!

Categorically cat chatting, if youza wantza purrk up and still stay bizzi so youza staying warm in da storm, youza can get all da luggage out of da closets and start removing da old n' dusty destinashun tags. Hey youza already wentza on da trip soza how come youza got so many dusty destinashun tags collecting in da collekshun?

Nowza Meowza itza not Momma Teresa itza me wrapped up in my EyeTailYun blanket! Youza purrobably exhausticatted frum being bizzi so best to get under yur favorito blankie and hunker down fur a warm catnap or try to CATch yurself 40 winkies worth. Whatever ya duz, youza stay safe in da storm and fur shure stay warm!

Wishing you a nonCATastrophic week with abundacat sunrays.

Ciao & Meow!
GUIDO the Italian Kitty