Manners: Propurr and Polite Is Right!

Me and Myself are pawsatively hanging around,thinking about life in da middle of the Sum Sum Summer time. Yep uh huh, it's fur shure cuz life in Winter, Spring, Fall or Sum Sum Summer time pawsatively passes by exacticatically as fast as the pot of Raviolis boils at sup sup supper time. Itza purrplexing fur shure: da times pass by faster in Sum Sum Summer time even though weeza gotza da loooongest day of da year on June 21st.  With everything zipping by so fast, I wanna us to thinks back to when weeza inky dinkies, and remember da stuffs  fur being purrfectly polite that we was taught. Yep! I'ma catchatting about "Manners", just propurrr polite is right manners. Weeza got politicatical manners, envirocat manners and da meowvalous dinner manners. Here goes our paws down meowmory manners lane....

Yungun Manners  # 1

Never make rash and crash decisions cuz dats not good manners. When youza hanging out, hanging up or hanging down with no paws on the ground,stop fur a mini meowster second and look to da left then look to da right and take yur time fur da free fall.

Yungun Manners #2

Itza  good manners and impurrtant to always watch yur water consumpshun from da start, cuz youza never ever too old or tooza yungun to be environmentally correctacat.

Yungun Manners #3

Daily good manners is to  be da inspectacat and divide da trash so youza recycles correctacatically.

Yungun  Manners #4

Be shure to always check out da water level in yur flower vase or yur BeeYouTeeFull flowers gonna not be too purrty when da water level izza below da "Stop! Yur Smitten Kitten self has drinked all my water!" baseline.

Yungun Manners #5

Itza purrfecto manners to not get boxed in, always keep yur options open and be shure youza has a view of everything frum everywhere. Yep uh huh, youza wanna see frumza inside to da outside and sneak da peak back in. Itza definicatically impurrtant youza sees whatza going on frum all direkshuns - that eliminates youza having a surprise from somewhere!

If youza mature meowster or yungun or da secret age cuz youza not gonna tell, justapurrractice da manners cuz youza gonna be a contentacat and purrsons gonna have da respectacatable OhPinion of youza tooza.

NOWza MEOWza go and have a  fantasticat nonCATastrophic week! 

Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Cha Cha Cha'ing & Ha Ha Ha'ing

Itza retrocat times fur me and my paws when I dances and purrances to da mostest famous intersekshun in the world: Haight & Ashbury in San Franfuncisco and fur shure, some things justa never ever changes - kinda like cats being da creatures of habit.  Everybody izza super dooper furiendly in The Haight cuz thatza where theyza invented PEACE, LOVE & Brown Rice too. Yep uh huh it'za furiendly and great since 1968. I wazn't born then ... wazza youza?

Purranced my paws into a feline furiendly fashion boutique and itza da attack of da leggings!  Had to get me and myself  out cuz I wazza getting dizzy. Itza colorful crazy stuff in da Haight Ashbury. Andza then,  yep uh huh andza then, check thizza out.....













Lookie at whatza popping out of da window! Catzowey! Call da Mewspaper and Pappurrrrazzi. Sheeeza definicatically in need of a Man Cat to save her!

Do The World A Flavor - and youza and yurza can help Ben & Jerry's name a new Ice Cream  here at BEN & JERRY'S WEBSITE . Oh I luvs chilling out at Ben & Jerry's at da Innersekshun of Haight & Ashbury! Itza da mostest meowvaloso bizziest Ben & Jerry's in da whole wide wonderful world - cuz everybody is hunky happy dory!

Order a Chunky Monkey on a cone but not if youza pooch! The giganticat growls da giorno rev up when I sees this sign in da Ben &  Jerry's andza Jerry's & Ben's window on Haight Street. Whatza they thinking? But catzowey itza cat furiendly so datsa funtasticat news! So I orders da double dippity cone TO GO in the organicat (nachurally itza green carry out bag) fur my pooch pals.

When youza comes to San Francisco, be sure to where da flowers on yur fur. Yep uh huh datsa what da 60's singer composer Scott McKenzie sang waaaaay back in da days of  when Peace, Love and Jefferson Airplane was all flying high! (hee hee hee  and a hazatini too). Andza here's me andza myself atza da Red Vic Inn.  Itza old - really old like itza had way more than 9 lives cuz a whole Millennium ago in 1977 Signorina Sami Sunchild acquired the Red Vic, built as a hotel in 1904, and her Flower Power self turned it into da Inn. Datza brilliant & furiendly thing tooza dooza and itza purrobably got kitty beds and sunrays too. Sheeza got peaceful rooms, a Peace Dining Room, youza name it, sheeza into giving peace and itza furiendly fur da vegacataterians and da vegans and da organicats and thatza increducatulously nice.

Nowza YOU go and have da meowvalously peaceful week - yep datza what I wishes fur youza!

PEACE & LOVE (and a Ciao & Meow too)
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Eye To Eye - OH Mio OH My!

Every two years youza supposed to trot yur paws to da Optactamologist to get yur eyes checked or fixed or renewed. Whatever youza duz, youza gotta take dat Eye To Eye Chart testaroni and it can definicatically rev up my EyeTailYun testosterOHknee!   Cuz I gets impayshunt taking da tests and reading dat inky dinky print. Andza da Doctor doesn't speak EyeTailYun.

 

BUT when I finishes da Eye examinayshun, I gets a purresent for passing da test and I sees that purrfectly! Check out this giftie bag I'ma opening up  and around and tossing down! Catzowey itza meowvaloso like da giftie bags da artistocats and  red carpet celebricats receive at da Academy Awards - woo hoo life izza CATZOWEY fur shure with da giftie bag galore.

 Basta Pasta and Holy Cannoli! Itza giftie bag filled with abundacat impurrted NIP  and  Pipecleaner Bees fromza somebody's nachurally wonderfully wild  and organicat garden, Ahhh and ohhh how I luvs da great grown NIP snipped with careful caring paws.  Thizza izza more meowvaloso than a faux Rolex or a Gucci-Cat bag!  My giftie bag  deeziner collar izza custom made by CALVIN and if youza wants to purrchase one or get infurmayshun youza can checks it outta atta Calvin's Store - tell him Guido sentcha and youza FOG "Friend of Guido" - I purromise he wontza charge more!

A meowvaloso  tip of da meowment:  Never ever gives up when youza wanna gives up cuz youza might just find da end of da rainbow or da goodies in da bottom of da giftie bag, exacticatically when youza not giving up.








Categorically speaking, I'ma here to ear to tellza youza dat IF youza not passing dat Eye To Eye Chart test then youza gotta tell a furiend and datza not a purroblem cuz furiends izza what ya needs when youza needs to unload da load of not good mews and news. And if yurza MasterCat card izza maxed out itza no purroblem cuz da furiends listen fur free!




Me and Myself wishes youza da mostest fabuloso CATZOWEY and nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

OOPSATINI ! Itza Faux Paws Meowment

NOBODY izza ever gonna take a purrfecto foto 100 purrcent of the time, and I knows youza thinks I'ma Hair-Brushed or fixed up by my Staff in my fotos. Go ahead and admit datsa what YOUZA thinking on Mondays when The Guido Gazette arrives. But it's notta true one meowment, so here's some of my favorito "OOPSATINI  Ita Faux Paws Meowments" caught by the fotographer. Kick back, relaxacat da paws after da 4th of July with some more old leftovers that duzn't wanna be leftover till Wednesday, and get ready to have a doggone meowvalous howl. Yep uh huh, itza fur shure youza gonna see actualicatically dat sometimes I has abundacat ups and downzatinis with da fotographers!

WHATZA youza mean my catzowey creamy Catpuccino is not brewed yet?

Dontza fotograf me when I'ma flossing my Feline teeth! Shut dat camera off NOWza puhleeze!

 Yep I'ma having da giganticat Hiss Fit cuz my Mani-Pawdicurist wazza supposed to be here last FurEyeDay! Time to fire and re-hire. Anybody wanna apply fur this pawzishun as my purrrsonal  Esthicatishun & Pawdicurist?

Finally after a meowsage I'ma having a pawsative meowment: definicatically not thinking of these OOPSATINI  Faux Paws meowments of flubbed fotos!

NOWza MEOWza, I wanna you to have a nonCatastrophic week and youza might wanna thinks about what exacticatically putza smile on yur fine furiendly face - yep uh huh! Like purrhaps a full box of Mice A Roni, the San Franfuncisco treat! Can youza mingle while youza hums da jingle? Click on dat Mice A Roni link and yurza paws izza gonna be tapping all day!

Ciao & Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

On The Cardiocat Pawty Circuit

Look at it this way:  every Year hazza 52 weekends, no matter where youza calls home, youza still got 52 wowza meowza weekends so howza comes ya gotta squeeze all da pawties into 1 weekend with no time to catnap? Catzowey! Me and myself izza exhausticatted cuz I pawtied and pawtied more till my smitten kitten self couldn't pawty anymore. I'ma gonna tell youza how many pawties I went to this weekend but dontcha tell anybody else!

It wazza World Cup weekend so I pawtied at da house of my pal Jackpot the Cat and whata Lion King feast he purrpared! Weeza had abundacat internashunal foods frum all over da Globe so weeza was feeling like internashunal mega meowguls. We man cats opticatted fur furont row seats in furont of his giganticat wide-as-we-are TeeVee, but look at Jackpot's face! Heeza shure looking shockaronied  (like his Mice a Roni box izza empty). My host just heard our YouEssHay Team lost in da overtime. Shuksatini good reason to be shockaronied!!

Trotted my paws into da guest restroom  shure I wazza thinking bout resting) and basta pasta itza still under construkshun and no organicat glitter litter laid yet!

Itza gonna be a fine feline fancy guest roomy di rest for da next pawty cuz theyza installing a sky light fur viewing when youza pooing.

Next pawty was "Tickle Me Pink & Don't Drink From The Sink"! Theyza served pink cupzatini cakes and pomegranate nip Cosmocat cocktails in purrsonal thermoses with yur own feline Flexi straw -  that flattened me fur shure!

Trekked my tootsies to da next pawty where weeza celebrated YouKneeVerseAll diversity and sharing good times with furiends at The 2010 PRIDE PURRade called "Fabulous and 40". I'ma only 4 and I thinks itza fabucatulous to be 4 so imagine how more fabucatulous it izza to be 40.  We pawty animals izza all exactacatically da same no matter what age, cuz we all gotza da same stuff, big loving hearts, luvs to devour chow every hour, and loves our furiends tall and small.

After this whirlwind weekend of pawsative Pawties, I electacatted to bag it! And nowza meowza - I wishes YOU a nonCATastrophic week!

Ciao & Meow,
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Strolling Thru The Summer Solstice

June 21st iza da Summer Solstice anywhere in da world,  and itza fine feline time to be out and about strolling, trolling and rolling around and purrrayzing da ground dat I catnap on - Summer has arrived OhFishYully. Duz youza know about da magical Summer Solstice stuff?  Wellza I tellza ya the meowvalous day of June 21st izza da longest day of the whole giganticat Year and itza also da shortest night of the whole giganticat Year! So weeza gotta do da abundacatnaps and shop expedicatically all day long and fast too, cuz weeza being shorted time in da night.

FURstly,  when youza out strolling and  rolling around da streets  on June 21st, youza wanna 

reach fur da Sky! Yep Uh Huh ALWAYS reach fur da sky on da Summer Solstice or any day! And be shure yur Stroller izza safe - I strolls in my laundry cart cuz itza clean furesh soft and safe place to sit.

Hang on tight when youza rolling and strolling on da Summer Solstice as the power of the celestial seasons (purrhaps the seasonings like Basel, Rosemary & Thyme too)  might grab ya off yur cart and youza wanna yur paws grounded fur shure so youza duzn't get airborne in space up up upza with da Summer Sosltice stars.

When youza turning the corner  youza wanna do a purrfeshonal  turn of yur head so youza knows exacticatically what turn to take in the road - furget da rear view mirror and instead use yur meowster mind and cat eyes to be shure da road izza clear!

AhTeneeOhKnee!  NOWza MEOWza, youza gonna have a funtasticat time on da longest day of the year!  Be shure you duz something extra cuz youza got extra seconds during the day now. Yep uh huh itza fur shure youza gonna have a nonCATastrophic  June 21st 2010 Summer Solstice! 

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Typicatical Soccer Statisticat

Every purrson around da world is jumping up and downza and going  thru da hoops (oopsatini thatza Basketball catchat!), cuz itza WORLD CUP time. Every day at my house izza da day of the Cup so I'ma not shure what all the buzz izza bout fur just 2 weeks of the Cup.  But being a sports enthusicatist,  I  dusted off my World Series ball - cuz I duzn't have a World Cup ball (yet). Yep uh huh I'ma in da knockit socket sprocket Soccer mood now and purracticing to play.

The mewspaper says dat da purrfeshunal Soccer players stretch alot befur a game - itza speshully good for da  meowscles.

Using furont paws in Soccer will get ya booted out of the game and into the Litter box! In England datsa called "going into da wastebasket". Duz you believe these giganticat Soccer players can fit in a wastebasket?

 Goalies got it ruff and tuff cuz they gotta leap way uppa in the air to stop dat speeding ball but Goalies can use da paws.  If youza gets into a ruckus with other players using yur paws and elbows,  itza called "Chicken Wing Battle"! Holy Cannoli - our Brit pals never ever seen a real battle over da chickie wings -  itza called Dinner's ready nowza!

Catzowey! Youza wondering "Who's Behind Those Star Studded Shades" and SirPrize itza me! When my Staff of impurrted EyeTailYun deeziners renovated The Guido Gazette pages, I hears "Guido it'za so nice and bright" so me and myself izza looking at it thru da sun glasses.  I wanna  hear frumza YOU bout what YOU thinks of da colorful summery notza wintery pages. Yep uh huh, I'ma listening - the Staff's not but me and myself izza listening to youza, yep uh huh itza fur shure!

Here's to a nonCATastrophic sensayshunal week! And I hopes your Cup izza always full, not just during the World Cup,  cuz life izza ball!

Ciao &  Meow!

GUIDO the Italian Kitty