Who Nose If It's Funny?

Nose nose, anything goes - and I knows my EyeTailYun nose likes being nosey not rosey. Itza funtasticatical to nose around real good when reading the funnies - and why not share that meowment with a molto bene good furiend. Me and myself always finds it a pawsative experiencia to be purractive when nosing around pawsatively ... Yep uh huh, I means roaming thru da Comics, like in da mewspaper! When I truly sez I gets up close and into my funnies so that me and myself can have a comicatical meowment, well itza da truth. I tells ya, yep uh huh that's whatza it is - naturally comicatical with no geneticatical altering substances like catnip!

Listening to da message from your favorite classicat comics can get ya up close and PURRsonal with them, and itza recommended to know the characters in the comics, cuzza itza can be advantageous and youza gonna have a hystericatical meowment laughing fur shure! Ohhh, I hears a laugh arriving!

Categorically speaking, there's nothing more meowvalous than sharing a comicatical secret with a speshule furiend. My pal here - well he listens PURRfectly and heeeza not even a meowster but youza could say he's a perfecto furiend who doesn't let the cat out of the bag!

Holy Meowster Moly and a double dose of MEOWza WOWza too! Garfield da cat izza missing frumza funnies! Catzowey! This izza not comicatical! Me and myself might be heading fur a giganticat hiss fit about da size of a tropicatical Hurricane. Oh basta pasta - they'za naming all da Hurricanes and I hope we don't read about the arrival of a Hurricane Guido - that would frizz da fur for shure!

Wishing you a funtasticatical nonCATastrophic week - and sneak in some funnies too!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Dramaticat Acrobaticat

Cirque du Soleil is the Cat's Meow when it comes to Nouvelle and MEWvelle entertainment so me and myself, being the internashunal meowster on the move, has been keeping in shape and buffing up da biceps cuz I heard theyza always looking for fantasticat talent. Ever since me and myself was an inky dinky meowster I wanted tooza be in the circus - yep uh huh thatza me in the Kinder-kitty stage doing the aerobicat high-wire walking moves.

Like anything in life - in all the 9 lives - nothing "molto meowvalous" comes eezy so I've been PURRacticing between my abundacatnaps, yep uh huh PURRacticing my acrobaticat routines ... and it's good to have a purrfesshunal "spotter" on site when youza hanging up down sideways in case youza needs help. Datsa what da "spotter" does - his bright eyes spots you . Catzowey duzza youza think da "spotter dude" does anything other than send da bright spots? Hmm, now I'm curious as a cat and purrpondering what exacticatically DOES da "spotter dude" do while I'm dangling on the high wire and he's just glowing below.

NOWza MEOWza fur shure! Pawsatively me and myself has got a grasp on the hand rails and ready to show off my moves... Can you tell I'm giving the Judges a little "cat eye-ola" get there attenshun?

Get yurself ready, cuzza this izza da finale, yep uh huh, itza where I duz the giganticat grande finale of swirling and twirling down the fine fabric curtains! My paws izn't letting go until I hear da applause of da judges .. hello ... judges? Anybody there?? Hellooo Judges itza me Guido the Italian Kitty, can ya seeza me up here??

I'm down on

the ground and making my bow - paws correcticatically crossed - with a Ciao & Meow and heading fur da day long catnap to dream bout my future as a tra-catapeze star with da Cirque Du Soleil. Da thought is wigging my EyeTailYun whiskers!

Ciao & Meow (and be shure youza gotta good spotter fur yur exercises or youza gonna have a CATastrophic day!)

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

CATcher On The Mound or Rebound!

Baseballs are flying by, popping high and players are sliding into FURst base and if youza don't knowza about the baseball terms well, all I can say izza, well... youza might be EyeTailYun like me and myself.

BUT I luvs da Baseball , yep uh huh me and myself izza da fanstasticat fans of da baseball and I wears my SF Giants dee-ziner baseball cap all of da time!

I heard they gotza GOOSE CHASES at da SF Giants ball park - hmm my EyeTailYun fowl loving whiskers izza wiggling over da opPURRtunicat to be bird watching, so me and my paws went down to da ball park to watch da Goose Chases but all I saw was a player running tween da bases and a pitcher tosses da ball to and fro, and thenza fro and to, and all befur the 7th inning Strrrrrretch. Hmmm, not my idea of a good Goose Chase!

MEOWza WOWza ! The Baseball dudes got Feline FURiendly jargon called "CATcher's InterFURance" and "Caught Cat Napping" (thizza is 100 PURRcent true!) and even a "Catbird Seat". If youza really curious as a cat to find out if this izza true, youza can be a cool cat and check it out here at Da Baseball Dicshunary .

Itza fantasticat time fur my Team, da fabulosocat San Franfuncisco Giants and I'm exhausticatted watching my boyz race all around da giganticat bases - whirling around faster than da humming birds zing around da trees in my own backyard. GUESS what?? Me and myself, yep uh huh , we passed out, yep uh huh, we passed out feline flatly but in a safe place near home plate and my ball was safe!

Wishing Youza and Yurza a non CATastrophic week and hoping youza gets a few home runs too!

Ciao & Meow
GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Lucky Me! I'ma Lazy and Loving It

Me and my smitten kitten self hazza been on the Meowy-Go-Round fur a lotta days and molto many years! Can I tell ya something just frum meeza to youza - but I don't wanna sound catty - both me and myself izza exhausticatted!

I didn't PURRponder this happening - just smack dab in da middle of purrducing this issue of The Guido Gazette, I decided to take a StayKashun (my Catitude went into full speed & all 4 paws stopped)

Yep uh huh, I'm mewting the My-Phone, de-fuzzing my Catirondeck lounge chair and catoflauging myself so nobody recognizes me or myself to ask for a furiendly Pawsograph. Gonna order a week's delivery of my favorito Meowgarita Catnip Pizza from EyeTailYa, and me and myself is going to kick back and be a relaxacat on an overdue StayKashun fur a whole week.
Purracticing being on StayKashun, doing nothing but hugging my catnip SeeGar - I thinks I'ma gonna be purring soon. Yep uh huh, this is molto meowvalous!

Arreverderci Amici (that's EyeTailYun for ciao pal) and I wishes you a kicked back and fantasticat week!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty

Feeling Foggy

You hear the word Fog and rapicatically you thinks I'ma catchatting bout da famous San Franfuncisco weather - the stuff in the sky that gives my fur da frizzies and hides the sun rays keeping me from having catnaps in da sun, right? Well me and myself is not reFURing to da off-shore fog. I'm telling ya about the greatest fantasticat kind of FOG, which means youza elevated to a mighty meowster "duzn't get any better than this" speshule elevayshun cuz a FOG izza "Friend of Guido". Me and myself is furtunate to have a catzillion FOG's in my life, yep uh huh itza truly true, and my FOG's are deeVersified fur shure. The FOG's come in every imaginable style of furiend that you can imagine....

I gottsa terificatically tall furiends and seemingly short furiends and some are ecstaticatically in shape (liked my buffed EyeTailYun self) and others have not-so-little tubby tummies. You can see fur yurself, this FOG needs to be doing more aerobicat exercises and cut down on da carbs cuzza I can bearly put my paws around him fur a FOG hug.

Some of da furiends, well they likes to hug and be close to my EyeTailYun self and you knowza I luvs it, cuzza we EyeTailYuns got a giganticat reputayshun as loving life and hugging is included in that!

NEWS & MEWS flash: July 28th to be exacticatical, I waz awarded a big award from da furiends at Catster - itza my favorite place to hang out with my 190,000 feline furiends (lotsa FOG's), when I'ma not taking abundacatnaps.

Here's me - the Catster "Cat Of The Week" - holy catnip when I got this news, I fainted! Yep uh huh me and myself both fainted! Someone brought me my favorite organicat Sardine Smelling Salts that revived me in a meowment, so I could enjoy da 7 days of being the Catster "Cat Of The Week". I'm on da cover page of Catster until Tuesday 8/4 (cuzza 1 week goes by quickly when da FOG's get together) - go and see fur yurself! Mille meowster grazie to my furiends at Catster - this is more meowvalous then walking da red carpet with Meryl Meowstreep at da Oscars! I got so much feline fan mail that I've missed all my catnaps so at noon on Tuesday I'm gonna check into da InterCatinental Hotel, shut da puter off and snooze, and snooze and keep snoozing. So befur I snooze off, I wanna wish youza a fantasticat and nonCATastrophic week! And my whiskers are wiggling knowing youza is a FOG!

Ciao & Meow,

GUIDO the Italian Kitty